the good, the bad, and the baby
by steadyasbella94
Summary: bella is raped at la push and gets pregnat she runs away oregon. 6 year later has a run in w/ the cullens esme is nessis teacher? what will happen when she come to diner at the cullens?. rated m for rape and violence way better then summary
1. how it started

sorry if it sucks this is my first fanfic so pleas be honest when you review. i'll update at least once a week. But I'll try to update 2 or 3 times a week.

i wish i owned twilight but sadly i dont :(

The good, the bad, and the baby

Chapter 1

Bella p.o.v.

Life can be horrible, and wonderful, and completely confusing at the same time. Life would be so much easier if there weren't monsters out there. And I'm not talking about Edward, and the Cullens, or Jacob, and the pack, I'm talking about the seemingly normal every day 'human' if you can call them that.

This monster unlike Jake, and Edward who helped get my life together, he tore it apart for one final time. I hate him for what he has done to me but if I ever see him again I will probably go off on him and maybe even slap him once or twice but I know that if I ever came across him I would thank him

I know it sounds strange to thank some one who took away your best friend, your sisters, brothers, two and a half sets of parents, the love of your life, and your innocents but he also gave me the will to live after that. And I might have been happy before but I'm ecstatic now he gave me Nessi.

And for that I am grateful no matter what and now my life is almost perfect, with the exception of my giant family I miss oh so very much. I guess you wonder what I'm going on about. Well it all started six years ago.

Six years ago…

"Come on. I'll let you drive me, you're going hunting anyway." I told Edward. "Please. I'll love you forever." I told him smiling because I'll love him forever anyways, but this way I'm not even a little mad at him for keeping me from Jacob.

"Fine. But I still don't think it's very safe for you to be hanging around a bunch of mutts." He grimaced when he said that.

"That's right it's so much safer to hang around sparkly vampires that want to suck me dry. Am I wrong?" he shook his head no.

"That's not what meant and you know it. Besides you can stop hanging around us whenever you want." He sighed

I through Edward my truck keys. He shook his head again "I'm not taking that piece of crap." He said as if it was poison. "Since I'm driving we'll take the Volvo." Stupid speed loving vampire.

Edward laughed as if he could hear my thoughts. "Sorry the look on your face was priceless. What were thinking?" he asked closing my door to the Volvo.

"Stupid all knowing, speed loving vampire." I muttered but he still chuckled. By this time we were almost to the treaty line and I could see Jake standing by the rabbit waiting for me.

Edward kissed me and said "I will love you always, my love. Please be safe for me Victoria is still out there and I don't want you to get hurt. So be careful." He pleaded with me.

I looked in his dazzling golden eyes and said. "I promise not one hair on my head will be touched. I might even be in a better mood later after I get to see my best friend for a few hours then it will be just us." I told him. But at the time I thought I was being truthful. But this was any thing but what was about to happen.


	2. movies, trails, and sand

"Hey Bella!" Jake hugged me when I crossed the treaty line. "It seems like we haven't seen each other in forever" he sys as I get into his car.

"I know it's the whole Victoria thing Edwards afraid to let me go to the bathroom without protection." I told my best friend. "I'm luck I even got to see you."

He smiled at me and the rest of the short drive to his, and Billy's house was silent. When we got there Billy wasn't at home. And Jake asked "Want to watch a movie I've got the new Sandra Bullock movie The Blind Side if that's okay?"

"Yeah. It's fine with me." I told him as he started to make some popcorn "I love her."

"Cool." Jacob sat down with the popcorn and put it in the middle of us on the couch, and handed me the blanket on the back of the couch "Here you go." He used my Jacobs smile.

I looked over to him and smiled right back at him. "Thanks, Jake." I said. Then we were quiet until the phone rang.

Jake paused the movie, and walked over to the phone. "Hello?" Jake asked but his face turned serious after the light hearted greeting to who ever was on the other end of the line. "Okay I'll be there in two minutes…." The other voice said something "See you when I find it." And he hung up.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"Sam just called and said they found Victoria's scent I'm going to go and check it out. You can finish the movie without me if you want to." He told me but was out the door before I could even respond.

"Bye, Jake." I muttered to myself. And now that Jacob was gone I didn't want to see the rest of the movie without him. So I got up found a piece of paper and pen and left a note that I was going for a walk.

I grabbed my jacket off of the arm chair and walked, to first beach. When I got close I could here some music and I soon recognized the song to be Carrie Underwood's Before he cheats. And soon even saw some kids I knew like Mike, Jess, Angela, Ben, Eric, and some others.

"Hey guy look decided to join the party!" I blushed when Eric shouted above the noise. "Were have you been I thought you'd be with Cullen."

"I am my own person you know." Not really, but I get out …sometimes. "I was visiting a friend, and Edward was busy, and I some how ended up here." I told him, but it sounded more like a question. He laughed at my reappearing blush.

Eric and I walked to 'our' group and we all sat by the fire. "Hey Bella. Long time no see. Huh?" Mike come up to me.

"I talked to you in gym yesterday Mike. Remember some one passed me the ball and we talked about who is that dumb?" wow does this boy have memory loss or something?

"Oh yeah, sorry thick skull." He said while knocking on his head twice. After that I wasn't really paying attention, I was thinking about Edward and Jacob, until Mike handed me a root beer.

"Thanks." I told him but soon realized it was just me and him. By the fire. "Hey were is everyone?" I asked him.

"Some of them went home; others are on an after dark hike." When he said that I noticed for the first time that it was dark out. The only light was the fire.

"Oh. Well I'd better be on my way back; I don't want Charlie to be worried." I said trying to get up but Mike was holding me down. "What the hell? Mike let go!"

"I don't think so." He pulled out a pocket knife and flipped it open. "Lay down on your back and if you even think about screaming I'll kill you. Got it?" Demanded Mike.

I nodded but didn't go down with out a fight. He already he my hands behind my back so I tried to kick him but missed. "Is that all you got sweetie?" and that was when I smelt the alcohol and his breath.

I wiggled and squirmed but to no avail all I got was a few cuts from his knife. Then I was on the rough sand with Mike on top of me. With his hands all over me, I tried to plead with him.

If Mike hadn't put his hand over my mouth when he thrust into I would have screamed and he would have hurt me more. But I quickly smelled the rusty smell of blood and was to dizzy and woozy to do anything so I froze.


	3. Telling lies,and holding it together

First of all I'd like to thank my friend meert7 for pointing out the fact that I should reread my work before I post it. And I'd also like to thank 3Emma for my first ever review. And my little brother whom helped me proof read this chapter.

Oh yeah I unfortunately do not own twilight or any of the characters = (

When mike was finished having his 'fun' he had told me "Now don't get up until ten minutes from now got it?" I nodded my reply and with that he left.

Ten minutes later I was walking down the road and I knew that in just a few more minutes Alice would have a vision of my tear stained face, dirty cloths, and bruised body. And she or one of the other Cullen's would come and get me but for once I was praying that it was not be the Cullen I wanted to see the most but didn't want to see at all if that makes any sense.

As I'm trying to think of a decent lie that I can tell my family that everyone will believe. I hear it, then see it, no the only one worst for them to pick would be Edward but I guess Alice saw that. But why on gods green earth would she send Emmett of all people?

The jeep comes to a stop and Rosalie jumps out and runs to me. Wait Rosalie am I missing something? Why would Alice send her? Oh well I'll ask her later I need to get home. Telling me it's all going to be okay. "Shhhh it'll be alright. Can you tell me what happened?" She touched my arm and I flinched at the contact.

"I'm fine just slipped on some rocks at the beach" I told her but by the way she looked at me I could tell she knew I was lying to her but let it go. "I just want to go to _my_ house and get some sleep." I left out that I so desperately wanted to take one or two dozen showers.

"Oh, no. what if you have a concussion or some thing I am taking you to _our _house so Carlisle can take a look at you." Rosalie told me firmly yet gently at the same time as if she knew I was in a fragile state mentally and physically.

"Can't he just come over to Charlie's? Please?" I begged her.

"Okay I'll call him." She said "Is it okay if I carry you to the jeep?" she asked and I nodded. But I still jerked when she touched me.

Rose carried me bridal style to the jeep, and slid me into the passenger seat, then she was in the seat next to me in a matter of seconds. When I saw her I jumped "Sorry." Rose said sadly.

"It's okay, I think I might be a little paranoid. I've been like this all day." I lied for the second time in the past two minutes. The only noise that was made the rest of the way to the Charlie's was the purr of the jeeps engine.

We were soon on the drive way to Charlie's house. As the jeep came to a stop, Alice came running out at full on vampire speed. I was out of the car, and in her arm in less than a second, Rosalie didn't even have the chance to take the key out of the ignition.

"Oh my god! Are you okay, and what did you do to your outfit?" Alice squeaked out.

I had to laugh at that, but when I did, it didn't sound like my laugh, it sounded forced out. Alice and Rose both looked at me with worry. "Let's get you in the house, Carlisle is in there with your dad right now, talking."

I nodded and we entered the house. "Hey Bells, what happened?" asked Charlie.

"I'm fine, like I told Rosalie, I just slipped in some rocks at the beach." I felt bad for lying to everyone, but I felt like I had to. I would tell the eventually though, maybe.

"Bella please call me Rose." I heard Rosalie, I mean Rose say behind me. Okay I officially think I'm insane. Is Rose being nice to me? What the heck happened while I wasn't here.

I still couldn't think about what happened, at least not until I was alone. I just know I'll have a breakdown and if that happened with everyone around I would have some explaining to do.

I was to busy trying to not freak out. That I had missed what Carlisle said "What?" I asked.

"Bella, would you please sit in the chair, so I can look you over?" I sat down an as he was looking at my arm he said "I think you're going to need some stitches on a few of these cuts."

Carlisle started to sew some of the cuts and it took all that I had to not break down right then. I tried to think of the pattern that he was tugging at my arm with. But my thoughts would slip into how I got the cuts, or who gave them to me, but I refuse to let myself to think of _why_ I had the cuts.

"Okay, Bella you're good to go." He shook Charlie's hand "I'll talk to you later chief. I will see you around the house, right Bella?"

"Definitely." I nodded to him, and whispered knowing that Charlie might not hear but they did.

Alice came up and gave me another gentile hug saying. "Are you sure, you're okay?" I nodded once again to my sister. And Rose smiled at me but it looked sad, and forced, at the same time. And the three Cullens walked out of the house, with Charlie right behind them to lock the door.

When Charlie came back in the room, I said "Hey daddy, I think I'm going to head up to bed, it's been a rough day. Good night, I love you." I told him, while getting up and going up the stairs. But I could still feel the confusion on his face.

I walked up to my room shut, and locked the door, shut my window, sat on my bed, and that was when the damn broke lose, and the sobs shook not only me, but the bed also.


	4. getting over it and dreaming

**Sorry I meant to up date sooner but I tend to speak too much and got grounded. I'll try to keep my mouth shut from now on. =)**

**Alice; come on you have to.**

**Me; no.**

**Alice; please?**

**Jasper; just say it or we're going to get Emmett. **

**Me; what would Emmett do that you wont I'm not afraid of him.**

**Emmett comes around the coroner with toothpaste, bananas, and a toilet brush; are you sure about that?**

**A pouting me; fine I do not own twilight or these meanies either. **

The next morning, I woke up sore in many places but the burning that was still between my legs was the worst pain ever. I would take James on a million times over, if I could take back what happened the night before.

I looked out the window to see, that Charlie was already gone for work. I immediately went to get my shower, after I got my Notre Dame Hoodie, and sweat pants. When I stripped for my shower, I could feel all the cuts, and bruises, but I refused to look into the mirror until I was clean again.

I stepped into the shower, and turned the water as hot as it would go. I grabbed the sparkly pink, and light blue, sponge I got in a bath and body kit, and the bar of soap.

As I scrubbed, I saw the bruises, on both of my inner thighs, the hand prints, on my upper arms, and the shallow cuts, on my abdomen. But the pain of my opening cuts, and skin being rubbed off, I never felt but, I did stop when the floor of the tub was completely a fading pink color.

I now had red blotches, all over my body to go long with the cuts, and bruises. When I was done, and looked in the mirror, I broke down in tears again. I slid to the warm tile floor, brought my knees to my chest, and rapped my arms around myself. Just like I had so many times before when Edward left.

And with that thought, I cried even harder, I couldn't handle him, or any of the Cullens leaving again. And that was the moment I promised myself two things. One: I would never let any one especially the cullens find out. And two: I would never cry about what mike did ever again.

And with that, I stood up, got dressed, and sat at the kitchen table, and did my homework until 4:30 when I started dinner. I had the chicken, floured, seasoned, in the pan cooking, and on mine and, Charlie's plates as the cruiser pulled into the driveway.

"Hey, kiddo. Are you feeling better?" he asked as he put his gun belt on the hook by the door.

"Yeah, I think I am." I told him. "Dinner's ready for you."

"Okay. Give me a minute I'll be down as soon as I change." He said walking up to his room. All throughout dinner we were silent, until Charlie stood up, and said "I'm gonna so watch the game. Do you need any help?" he added the last part as an after thought.

"No, I've got it." I told him simply. I then stood, and made my way over to the sink, with the dishes in hand, and was done within five minutes. Next I wiped the table, off with the sponge, and then used glass cleaner. After that, I did the same to the counter tops.

When I was done, I put the sponge back under the sink, and wiped out the sink. "Dad, I think I'm just gonna head up to bed." I told him walking up the stairs.

"Okay. See you in the morning. Night Bells." He told me not taking his eyes off of the T.V.

"Night, dad." I said as I walked up the stairs. When I got to my room, I first opened the window, trying to forget why I closed it in the first place.

Quickly trying to distract myself, I looked around the room. I finally spotted my bathroom bag, and picked it up, and went to the bathroom. I started the water before I got in, just like I had hours before. And again I avoided looking in the mirror afraid of another breakdown, especially since I made the promise to myself.

Instead of my normal sleepwear, I wore a set pajama pants, and a school shirt, from my old school, back in phoenix. After I finished brushing my teeth, and hair. I slowly walked out of my bathroom, expecting to see Edward, waiting for me on my bed.

And he was, sitting on my bed, like my own personal Adonis. "Hey." He smiled his breathtaking crooked grin. "How was your weekend?" he asked in his angelic voice.

I looked at him, but what could I tell him? At this point I hated myself even more, not only did I _cheat_ on him, but now I'm lying to him too. "Fine, but I did get a few bumps and bruises when I slipped at the beach." I explained to him.

I slid into the bed next to him, and got under the covers, next to the Greek god on my bed. "Sleep, now, my love." Edward kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes.

_I was in the woods by our meadow, and I was holding Edwards hand, we were in the sun, and he was shining like a million stars. I looked around the meadow and suddenly, Edwards hand turned warm, no, not warm, hot I turned back to look at him, but I was looking at the shoulder of Jacob._

_Then I wasn't in the forest, But on the beach sitting on a tree, our tree, mine, and Jake's, in La Push. Then suddenly Jacob's hand turned cooler, but I knew that I wasn't holding hands with my best friend anymore, but it was to warm to be Edward._

_I turn my head to see who I was holding hands with and gasped, I tried to get out of his grasp but he was too strong and wouldn't let go "please! You don't have to do this." I told him. "Oh, but I want to Bella. I've been patient long enough with you. You will want me." Mikes voice commanded. _

_His hand made they're way down my body, as he forced me to the ground "Wasn't once enough?" I asked though sobs and tears. When his hand reached my thigh he started to bring it back up to my waist line and he pulled off my pants, and I sucked in a breath and screamed as loud as my lungs would allow._

"Bella!" I heard Edward whisper, yell.So I sat up then he was gone, but I soon figured out why.

Charlie came busting in my room. Gun pointed and ready to shoot whatever made me scream. If only he knew the truth, but I'm not going to tell him, and I doubt Mike will. "Bella! Are you okay?" he asked still looking around the room for an intruder.

"Yeah. I'm fine bad dream is all." I told him truthfully, well, for the most part.

He lowered the gun and said "Are you sure, Bell, cuz it sounded like you were being murdered." If only he new he was so close but two days late I died the second Mike entered my body. "And you're crying." I hadn't realized the hot tears pouring from my eyes.

I nodded and wiped away the tears with my sleeve. "Okay. Well I'm gonna be getting back to bed. Night Bella."

"Night daddy." I told him, and he looked shocked but nodded and went to his room.

Edward came out of the closet, (the real one in my room) and sat next to me "What was the dream about to make you scream like that?" he questioned me.

So I decided to tell him the one thing to get him to not ask anymore questions. And it not only hurt him but me also. "You left." And at those two simple words we both flinched. But he let it go as I knew he would. But he held no to me twice as tight as before.

"Go back to sleep, my Bella." His Bella. God if only he would never have me completely. I felt one lone tear slip down, and fall to the pillow, beneath my head, then the darkness consumed me, and I thanked god for that.

**Ok so please tell me what you think so if need be I can improve.**


	5. school, flashback,and angela

**Sooo soooo sorry I took so long I had it typed on my iPod and sent to my e-mail but didn't have access to my computer. Oh and I do own twilight…ok not really but a girl can dream right?**

The next morning I woke up, realizing I had already broken one of my promises', by crying the night before, but I tell myself "its ok no one knows."

Then I sit up, and for the first time, I notice that Edward wasn't with me. So I run to the bathroom, shut, and lock the door behind me, and slide to the floor. Because I knew he heard something I said. While I slept. and now he knows that I'm dirty, and used, and he left.

He finally realized I wasn't good enough for him, but then there was a soft, knock at the door and Edward whispered "hey are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"Fine, just thinking about you leaving." I once again only told the half truth "The dream I had last night, really shook me up."

"Okay love, but if you don't hurry we'll be late for school. We only have a bout five weeks or so, until we graduate you can't miss now. The finals will be next week." Edward told me in a soft and loving voice that told me he was here to stay.

Oh my god! I hadn't thought about school, how am I supposed to go the next five weeks with _him_ around me. My breathing quickened as I remembered that not only that I had to see _him_ but that Edward could hear _his_ thought. "God, please don't let him be there to day." I prayed silently.

I got off the bath room floor, got dressed, and brushed through my hair. I slowly made my way down the stairs, and to the kitchen, where Edward was sitting at the table, with a pack of pop tarts sitting at the table waiting for me. "Did you know, some people eat these things frozen? Or, some just stick then in the microwave." He stated "Then some people eat them strait out of the box."

"Yeah, I did actually." I told him with a fake chuckle that I knew he knew was forced out.

I saw a pained look cross his face but I ignored it. And he act like normal. "Why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why do the call them pop tarts if you can eat them without using the toaster?" he asked me.

"You have food issues'." I told him simply he just chuckled.

When I was done Edward walked me out to the car and we drove to school in silence. And when we got to the school I finally asked what I had been thinking about since he told me I still had five weeks of high school left.

"I want to see if I can graduate early." I told him looking at my hands.

"Why?"

"I jut do." I told him "Please, I feel like it's something I need to do?"

"Okay. I'll see what I can do to get us some tests." Wow that was a lot easier than I thought it would be. "Come on, let's get you to class."

The rest of the day went by smoothly, Edward set it up so not only me, and him, got to graduate early but so do Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett. But it had to wait until Thursday so the school could get the testing papers in for all of us.

"Bella love, the rest of the week is going to be sunny until Friday. And I talked or dazzled my way into getting us to do it Friday even though it's a conference day." He told me while I was laying on my bed silently thanking god that _he _wasn't at school to day.

"Okay sound good." I said "good night." I told him hoping that the cold meds I took a few minutes before would keep me from dreaming.

"Sweet dreams, love." Edward whispered in my ear.

'You should've said no, you should've gone home, you…" my alarm on my phone stopped when I opened it.

"Good morning love." Edward whispered in my ear. "I'm sorry but Emmett and Jazz are dragging me hunting with them so I won't see you until Thursday night."

"Okay." I told him "I love you, Edward." He bent his neck down to kiss me, and when his lips touched mine I couldn't help but flinch. "Sorry."

"Its fine, good bye love." He spoke softly before he jumped out the window and ran into the forest toward his house.

And then I realized, I had to still go to school, but at the same time I was relieved, that Edward wouldn't be there to read,_ his_ thoughts.

I put on a sweatshirt and a baggie pair of jeans, and went out to my truck, not in the mood to eat breakfast. As I drove to school I couldn't help but pray the _he_ wasn't in school again today.

When I got up to the school I jumped out of the truck and slowly made my way over to the picnic table so I could wait until some more students got there. I pulled out my trig homework to look over and I was on number 9 when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

And with simple gesture I froze and I was back at the beach with _him_ forcing me to the ground as I struggled to get away from _him_. But then I heard someone call my name.

"Bella?" I heard a voice I recognized but couldn't place "Bella! Bella!" the voice was there but all I saw was the sand, the water and _him_. But I heard her voice again "Bella, come on, its okay." and the beach was gone and I saw Angela, and Jessica, along with Tyler and a few others.

Angela was the one who was trying to comfort me. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"It's alright are you okay?" asked Jessica.

I just nodded and everyone but Angela left. She looked me square in the eyes and said "Bella, I know you're lying to me if you ever want to talk I'm here. Okay?" I nodded

"Thank you."

"Anytime. Now come on, let's get you to class." She told me as she rapped her arm around me. At first contact I flinched but she pretended not to notice.

The rest of the day was uneventful, until I saw _him_ in the hallway, and started to hyperventilate, but Ang saw and ran over, and calmed me before I had another flashback.

The rest of the week went about the same and I soon learned that_ he_ transferred out of all the classes we had to together. But I think Angela figured out that _he_ was the cause of it and she helped me avoid him as mush as possible and whenever some one would touch me she would tell them to back off.

But now all five of the Cullen's and I were scattered in the gym, with Mrs. Cope and coach Clap watching us to make sure we didn't cheat. I felt bad for the rest of them because they could have all the work done in about ten minutes.

But when I was half way done with my last page Jasper started to get bored and both of our supervisors broke down in tears, but then they were rolling on the floor in fits of laughter. He kept changing their emotions every 30 seconds or so until I was done and we all went home.

The night before when Edward came back I wasn't afraid to kiss him, but I was still terrified if a human guy even looked at me. But I was proud that I hadn't had any nightmares since I started taking the cold medicine at bed time.

I was slowly making progress, to get my life back. or so i thought.


	6. test results

**Right now I have no Internet cuz I'm camping with the fam. So fun (insert eye roll here) and tonight we wanted to cook over the fire it starts raining oh the joys of camping(sarcasm intended)  
Oh and sorry in ch 5 I said that all of the Cullens were testing out but I am gong to fix it so it's only Bella, Edward, and Alice.( jazz will still mess with the teachers)  
I don't own the twilight**  
Three weeks after test day

Edward, Alice, and I found out the test results the Monday after we took the test. Edward, and Alice passed with flying colors, of course, and I some how got a 96%.

And since the day of the tests I've been spending as much time at the Cullens as possible. But I do have to admit that Alice is driving me completely insane with wedding plans.

And my relationship with Rosalie is making progress, ever since the day she picked me up at the la push boarder she has treated me...I'm not really sure how she's treated me but it's kind of weird, like maybe she knows?

And I've been working so now I don't flinch as much only if someone other than the pack, or the Cullens touch me. But I haven't seen much of the pack because I just can't bring myself to cross the la push boarded without having a flashback, and I'm trying to avoid those.

But I have seen Leah and Seth at the store and they came over and I found out that they're werewolves too. And Jake has come over once or twice when Billy did to watch one game or another. But like I said I've spent most of my time at the Cullens.

For the past week or so Edward and I had, had a few fights. And it's honestly not his fault, I always just get mad at him out of nowhere. But then there's been a few times were I just broke down and cried for no reason.

Like, just yesterday Alice, and I were looking at flowers for the wedding and I started bawling about how sweet she was for helping me. Everyone that was at the house just looked at me like I was crazy, but then again I probably was.

So here I was lying in my bed and it hit me, I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom, without falling luckily. When I got in I put my head over the toilet and empted my stomach of all the food I had eaten the night before. I walked down stairs because I didn't feel sick, or at least not anymore.

"Hey bells, I'm gonna head over to Billy's." Charlie told me. "And don't forget him and I are gonna be going outa town so I won't be home tonight. We're just gonna stay at a hotel. Okay, kiddo?"

"Thought you and Billy were doing that next week." I answered him.

"Bells it's been two weeks since I told you about this. Remember? 'Bells in about two weeks Billy and I are going outa town for a fishing trip and we'll be spending the night will you be okay?'." Charlie told me

"Oh I guess you did. Sorry time just seems to be speeding away." I said "do you care if I stay at the Cullens while you're gone?"

"Sure."

Charlie starts for the door "bye dad. See you on Sunday."  
"Actualy, it probably won't. See me until Monday. Cuz we won't get back till late so I might stay at Billy's." he explained

"Oh, okay." I got up and followed him.

He was now out the door and getting everything in the cruiser. "Oh yeah, no parties." he says with smile on his face.

"Oh man, I was planning on have biggest party of the year at old chief swans house while he was away. Darn!" I joked with him.

"First off I am not old. Second I'd like to see you even go to a party let alone throw one." he told me as he started the cruiser.  
"Whatever, bye." I gave him a small wave.

After he was out of the driveway, walked back up to the bathroom to get some ibuprofen because I already had a headache. So I opened the medicine cabinet and me being the klutz I am I knocked over the entire top shelf.

I bent over and was about halfway done I saw it. The pink box, so I started to count back to the last time. I counted close to five weeks, I fell to the floor and counted over, and over. Until I knew I need a pregnancy test.

I pulled out my phone and called the first girl who came to mind, that wasn't a Cullen. " Hey, I need you to do me a favor and I can't let anyone find out, and you can't ask any questions until you get here." I told her "can you do that?"

"Sure. What do you need?" She asked me.

I took a deep breath and said "I need a pregnancy test." I told her quietly.

She gasped "yeah, okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. About twenty minutes or so." she told me then hung up.

The next twenty minutes were pure torture, I hadn't moved since I made the phone call. Then Leah came bursting through the bathroom door "here," she told me softly then in a more forcefully and commanding tone she said. " Now tell me one thing. Is it the leech's kid, well if there is a kid?"

"No" I cried

"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you. Would you like to talk about it?" she said using her soft voice again.

"Let me pee on the stick and gather myself. If this comes back positive if you'll give it to me I'm going to need you to help me."  
"I'll help. But before I do I need to know why you need it."

"Okay." I nodded and she walked out of the bathroom.

I opened the brown paper bag and there were three different brands of tests. So I opened all of the packs and did what I had to and sat them on the sink. "I'm done." I said just loud enough for Leah to hear.

Leah walked in and sat next to me on the ground waiting until the fifteen minutes were up. We were completely quiet until she said "it's time." I just nodded what else could I do?

I slowly made my way into a standing position, and walked over to the sink were each test laid on top of the proper box. I studied each box to make sure that I didn't misread them. And broke down again.

"I can't, I just can't. He'll think I cheated on him. I mean I did but not on purposes, I swear." I rushed out as I cried.

"Shh it'll be okay but you need to calm down and tell me what you're talking about." she said as she held a sobbing me.

"I can't...oh my god what am I going to tell Edward." and I started a new round of sobs.

About twenty minute later, Leah was still rubbing my back trying to sooth me. " if you're. Calm enough I would really like it if you told me what's wrong?" I just nodded. And she sighed. "Bella, would it be okay if I asked you a question?"

I nodded again "okay, Bella why are you freaking out?"

"The baby isn't Edwards." I whispered.

"Is it Jacobs?"

I slowly shook my head. "No it's not."

"Bella, who's is it?" Leah whispered.  
"I... I.. I didn't mean to I'm sorry. He..he made me, I'm so sorry. But you can't tell Edward, please he can't know I cheated on him." I begged her.

"What do you mean he made you? Bella were you raped?" she asked sadness dripping from her voice.

"y..yes." I whispered and I wasn't even sure she heard other then the small gasp she let out.

"Bella, who?"

"I...I can't." I cried.

**Sorry got it up as soon as I could. And I know my spelling sucks but im working on it.**


	7. planning with leah

**Sorry went camping once again and I'm most likely to be doing that every week so sorry I'll update ASAP**

Before Leah had a chance to say any thing else my phone rang "is it okay if I answer your phone?"

"Yeah" I whispered desperately trying to avoid telling her how the father is.

"This conversation is far from over." she told me mater-of-factly as she stood up. Before she left she looked back at me with a small, sad smile, that didn't reach her eyes.

I heard the phone stop ringing and Leah say " hello Bellas in the bathroom right now can I help you?" the person on the phone said something "well can I ask who's calling before I do that?" her niceness wearing down. "Well why don't you just tell me what you want bloodsucker." all kindness completely gone from her voice now.

I cleared my through so I wouldn't sound like i've been crying. "Leah just give me the phone." I told her quietly but I knew even though she didn't have vampire hearing she could still hear better then a normal human.

"Fine she want to talk to you." she told who ever was on the other side of the argument.

Leah walked back into the bathroom where I couldn't bring myself to leave "it's Alice Cullen. You know you don't have to talk to her if you don't want to." she handed the phone over to me and sat back down next to me.

"I know" I told Leah then put the phone up to my ear" hello Alice." I answered simply

"hey I thought you were coming to our house or ay least that's what you told Charlie or at least that's what I saw you say you did say that right cuz I think my visions are messing up lately oh how come I can't see you are you with a werewolf..." she wouldn't spot so I decided to interrupt  
"Alice calm down. I was planning on coming over but then Leah stopped by and I agreed to hang out with her this weekend. That's problem why you can't see me and yes she is one who answered the phone." when I was done explaining I had to catch my breath.

"Leah's a wolf. Huh. Well if your not coming Eddie and I are going hunting." when she called Edward 'Eddie' I heard him say "my name is Edward"

"Okay well have fun." I told her

"Will do bye Bella"

"Good bye Alice." I hung up and through the phone at the wall as hard as I could.

Leah just put her arm around me and said "Bella please tell me who did this so we can put him I'm a jail cell."

I just shook my head and said "I...I can't Edward will be mad at me cuz if I tell he'll find out cuz of a trial and then he'll hate me." I sobbed and that is when I relieved I had broken the promises to myself again, I was crying because of what mike did to me and this revelation only made me cry harder.

After a minutes or hours I couldn't tell you which Leah asked "okay so you said you're gonna need my help? What are we gonna do?"

"I can't kill the baby I just doesn't feel right to me. And I don't think I could handle giving it away. So the only option I have left is to keep it and I can't do that with Edward." I cried.

"So, what? Are you gonna leave him? Just up and leave him?" I just nodded

" I have to" I stood and walked out of the bathroom" I need a change of scenery will you take me somewhere?"

"Where?" she followed me and we got in her car  
I shook my head and said "I don't care just not here but you have to stay with me so Alice doesn't know what I'm planning."

"Okay." Leah nodded and started the car as she drove I was thinking about where I would go and how I would go without Edward following me. I was lost in thought until I saw it out of the corner of my eye.

First beach we were in la push_. I felt like a hundred pound weight was on my chest, I couldn't breath. And then I wasn't in he car with Leah I was on the beach with him. He was holding my hands above my head with one hand as he took my bra off with the other...  
_"Bella!"

"Bella? Come on snap out of it!" Leah brought me out of my flash back.

I looked around to make sure we weren't by the beach. And we weren't we were in some ones driveway, when I realized this my breathing slowed and so did my heart. "Bella why did you freak out when you saw the beach?" Leah asked but didn't give me time to answer "is that where it happened?"

"Yeah." I whispered.

Leah nodded and seemed to be in thought "is that why you haven't visited Jake since the last Time we got her trail? Because it happened here." she answered her self. I just nodded again I seem to be doing a lot of that today.

"Come on let's go in. No ones home so we can talk." we got out of the car and walked the front door that was unlocked. She went through the living room down a hall and past a bathroom before she opened a door and said "this is my room."

I didn't say any thing and we both sat down on the floor leaning our backs on her bed. "Bella tell me you have a plan. Cuz he isn't just gonna let you leave and not go after you."

"I know and I do have a plan I just need time to save some more money. But I will need you help to plan this and I will need you to be with me when I have to get things like a plane ticket and when I write the note. And the thing is I'll have to do it soon so I can start going to a doctor for the baby." a few tears slipped from my eyes.

"Hey why don't you write the letter now so you can have it ready?" Leah suggested softly.

Leah hates the Cullens and I don. Think I'm her favorite person either and she is helping me. I started to cry. You'd think I would have been cried out but he tears kept coming.  
"Bella. What's the matter? You don't have to do this." she told me.

"I know but I have to and thank you so much I think these are some happy tear." I told her "you barely know me and look what you doing."

"Shh I'm glad you're sorta happy, but I think the hormones are getting to you." Leah smiled and I couldn't help but laugh at that because I knew it was true.

That night I fell asleep next to Leah with her holding me. The next morning I woke up and Leah was still sleeping next to me. I immediately felt it and ran to the bathroom. I throw up twice before I cleaned up and walked back in to Leah's room.

I looked at her desk and saw a pencil and some paper; I took them and sat back in the chair under the desk. And I started writing my letter to Edward. And I figured I would write one for the rest of the cullens and another for Charlie.

_Dear Edward,  
I am sorry I really am but I can't do this I know it seems that we are meant to be together but we can't I can't be there for you and I don't want to marry you. If you love me you won't follow me, please don't. Maybe some day I'll come back but for now I need space. I'm so sorry.  
I love you,  
Bella_

That was the hardest thing I have ever written and I was crying the second I the pencil hit the paper but I knew I had to write two more so I took a few deep breaths and started on The one for Charlie.

Dear dad,  
I'm sorry I have to do this. And I love you very much but I just can't stay here please forgive me. I tell you everything but I can't yet I'm just not ready.  
I love you,  
Bella  
  
I was thinking when I started to write that one day I will tell him every thing other then the vampire, werewolf thing.

_Dear Cullen family,  
first I want to thank Carlisle and Esme for always being there whether it was to stitch up a cut or to bring me cookies just because you felt like it I love you guys like my own parents. Jasper i want you to know that you're like a brother to me I love you and I never have and never will blame you for the birthday incident. Rose I'm not sure how you feel about me but I think you understand me or at least to a point but I want you to know that I love you like a sister. Emmett you're the best funniest bear of a brother any one can ask for no offence jazz but I am gonna miss your jokes I love you brother bear. Alice, what can I say you're my best friend and sister and you are the best all around person ever I love you and I need you to take care of Edward and I will honestly be surprised if I can pull this off with out you finding out and trying to stop me?  
I love you, please don't look for me.  
Bella  
_  
I was crying because I knew I would miss my family. "what about Jacob?" Leah asked from behind me and made me jump. But I'm glad she did I need to tell Jake something  
"I'm doing that now"

_Dear Jacob,  
You were there for me when everyone else left me in the rain I don't know were I would be without you. You're my best friend and brother I'm so sorry I'm leaving like this but I'll see you someday.  
I love you,  
Bella__  
_


	8. to oregan

**Sorry can't find my USB drive but I'm still gonna get up  
Oh and Jasper said to tell you I don't own twilight =(** **or the people and inn I borrowed from Gilmore girls. *sniff***

After I wrote the letters Leah and I talked about our plan and said that it would take affect the next time all the Cullens went hunting together.

Well today is Friday and I'm at the Cullens and they're leaving for a hunting trip to Canada.

I was hugging Alice I hugged everyone other than her and Edward. "Bella you do realize we'll be back in two days right?"

I just smiled and said "I don't tell you guys I love you enough."

We love you too!" I let go of he and turned to Edward  
"so Leah is gonna pick me up here and we'll stop at my house to get some stuff for staying at her place and we will just hang out with the pack until I see you, I'm going to miss you so much Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, be safe please." he kissed me and they were gone.

I stood there just looking out the door until Leah got there " okay I have all the letters other than jakes I'll put his in place after I drop you off." Leah told me and the plan was set in motion.

I put the Cullens letter on the kitchen counter next to Edwards and I put another paper in his telling him to keep the wolves alone and that I was sorry but I stole some money from a stash in Alice's room.

I turned to Leah and said "okay let's go to Charlie's and get my stuff packed." she nodded and we turned toward thru door and walked her car.

We got to Charlie's house and I put his letter on the kitchen table.

the tears were flowing freely as I walked up to my room where Leah was packing some of my cloths I grabbed a bag and packed other thing that I wanted to keep like stuff Edward gave me and the camera I got for my last birthday and the scrapbook with it among other things.

"I think I'm ready." I told Leah as she finished packing.  
"Okay let's get to the air port." I followed her to the car and we took off in the direction of the air port.

When we got there we went to the ticket counter and Leah asked "when is the next fight to Oregon?"

The lady asked "where in Oregon?" in a fake sweet voice.  
"It doesn't matter just the next one in to the state." I explained

The lady looked at the screen and said "the next flight into oregan leaves in forty-five minutes and you'll land in Salem the states capitol."

"Okay we need two tickets please, one round trip and the other one way." I told the fake lady

She typed for a few minutes and looked up at us and told us our total, I paid in cash thanks to Alice.

We turned around and headed for a little cafe in the airport to get some food I was starving "are you sure you have enough money? I mean you collage found couldn't have that much money and you still need Money for the hotel then rent when you find somewhere to live and you need money to live off until you get a job?"

And I thought I was freaking out "Leah I'll be fine I took some money from one of the stashes in Alice and jaspers room." I told her and picked up a napkin and wrote how much I took not including my microscopic collage fund. And pushed it to her.

She gasped and said "five hundred thousand?" some of the people in the cafe stopped eating and talking to look at us.

"Shh!" I hushed her.

"Five hundred thousand dollars!" she whispered  
I nodded "it was only half of one stash I found at least six or seven." I told her truthfully

She just stared at me eyes big and mouth open. When she finally snapped out of it and asked " so are we gonna look at a house in Salem or where?"

"I don't want to be in town maybe look at the surrounding area."

A voice came over the intercom announcing our flight so I paid and we went to the plan entrance where we showed our tickets to a guy behind a podium thing. And went through a long tunnel like thing to the plane where Leah let me have the window seat. after about fifteen minutes the plane took off and I got lost in thought as to what Jacob and the Cullens were up to. Jake probably found his letter by now I'm sure dad did. But the Cullens wouldn't find theirs for over another twenty four hours.

"Are you okay Bella?"

I hadn't noticed I was crying until Leah said something "I am gonna miss every one so much I don't want Edward to hate me but I don't want him to forget me either." I said truthfully

"He won't. If he loves you the way he says he does then he'll never hate you and he'll never forget about you. When and if you ever go back he'll be waiting with open arms." she was sticking up for Edward. Wow life has been jacked up lately first the rape then rose is nice next Leah sticks up for a Cullen. Wait are pig flying, or is hell freezing over.

"Yeah I hope so..." I told her and soon after I fell asleep with silent Tears rolling down my cheeks.

The next thing I know I felt someone shaking me so I open my eyes; witch was actually harder than normal because I had a lot of crusty stuff from crying.

"Hey we're getting ready to land." Leah informed me. They said "when we find a hotel I'll call a realtor, and you find an OB doctor, and get an appointment scheduled."

"That works." I nodded.

The plane landed and we made our way through a tunnel and into the Salem airport. We sot our luggage and Leah called a cab while I went to the bathroom. And when I came back out we grabbed the bags.

We told the cab driver to take us to the nearest hotel or inn. About ten minutes after we told him that he pulled up to a beautiful building that looked like a house but mush bigger. In the front there was a colorful garden and a small pond with a waterfall. "This is the best place for miles and it's fairly cheap too." the cabbie explained.

We handed him the money and walked up steps and through the big white door. When we looked to the left there was a staircase going up, and to the right there were two chairs with a small table between them, with a checker board and a few magazines.

Then in the front to the right was a mahogany desk with a vase of pink and purple flowers on the front left corner and a bell in the middle. Behind the desk stood a woman that looked to be in her late 30s. We walked over to her and Leah asked "do you have any rooms available with two beds?"

"Yes we do." she typed on the keyboard for a minute before turning around and grabbing a set of room keys. When she looked back at us she said "okay you are in Room number 23. And welcome to the dragonfly inn, if you need anything at all ask for lorelai." she then turned around and said "Michel will you take them to room 23 please."

A short black man came out and led us up the stairs and to our room.

**It's a little shorter than I wanted but the next chapter may have an unexpected twist...dun dun dunnnn**  
**read and review**


	9. mabye she's pmsing

**I saw eclipse, best movie of the twilight saga yet but still no comparison to the book.  
Okay a few people now have asked me how and why Alice knew to send rose and why she was in the jeep so here's your answer...oh and I don't own twilight, Gilmore girls, and or any thing else I may or may not borrow **

****Alice pov

The family, minus Bella, and I were heading up to Canada for the weekend on a hunting trip. Rose, Emmett, Jasper, and I were in Emmett's jeep. While Edward, Carlisle, and Esme were in Carlisle's mustang.

"That was weird." Emmett said while driving

"What?" I asked

"Bella."

"Yeah. For a few weeks now she's been sad, and scared, and angry. But for the past week or so her mood changes faster then Edwards." my husband told everyone

Every one was quite, so I thought back to a few days before...

_**Flashback **_

_Esme was in the kitchen making Bella some lunch while the boys were playing some war game on the wii, rose was looking at a magazine, and Bella and I were looking at flowers in a wedding magazine. _

_We were looking at different bouquets of freesia and lavender, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, she starts bawling saying she loved me and I was the best friend and sister ever. I mean I'm not complaining or any thing, I'm just not used to Bella being dramatic  
once she clamed a bit Esme came in with a sandwich and said "are you okay? I made you a sandwich, and have you some fish crackers." _

_Bella started crying again and Esme gave me a worried glance as if to ask if I knew what was wrong so I shrugged. _

___**End flashback**_

"Maybe she is just PMSing?" Emmett asked

Rosalie said something for the first time since we left the house "no something happened at la push." she stated "I just have this gut feeling. If you look at her and I mean really look you can tell when she laughs it's forced or when she smiles it's fake of the fact she has bag under her eyes and she looks and acts as if she hasn't slept in months."

Every one looks at her as if she has 2 heads. How did Rosalie see this and no one else?

"It's like when we left and every one said she was zombie like. Zombie Bella has returned."

And now she has 3 heads. Maybe she knows what happened I mean she did pick her up that day Bella changed

_**Flashback **_

_Everyone was hunting, only rose and Emmett stayed close to home because Rosalie had some cooking project at school and she needed to practice for it. _

_So they weren't going far just out side of forks.  
I Jasper and Edward had made a bet on who could drain the most deer. I was on my third when I had a vision._

_**Vision **_

_Bella walking down the road near the treat line, her hair a mess, shirt dirty and torn, with tears falling from her chocolate eyes. _

___**End vision**_

_I immeadtyly called Emmet but hung up when I saw if I sent him she would completely freak out. So I called rose "het Alice" _

_"I need you to pick Bella up down by the la push boarder"  
I told her and she just huffed. Then I said "rose something isn't right she's hurt and crying and if Emmet goes she'll freak out and hurt her self more." _

_"Okay" she agreed she might not like Bella but she doesn't want her hurt either. "Emmet and I are out I'll have to take the jeep" and we hung up. _

_Then carefully avoiding Edward, I told jazz I would see him later and went to bellas house. _

___**End flashback  
**_  
The jeep was Silent once again so I said "we have to find out what happened when we get back" they all nod in agreement

"and I know I sound crazy but I'v been having a hard time seeing her lately"

"Hasn't she been hanging with Leah Clearwater?" Jasper asked

I nod "but even when there isn't a wolf within miles of her I only get flashes"

The rest of the ride was spent quite other than the hum of the jeeps engine. About twenty minutes later Emmett parked the car next to Carlisle's; we all got out and started to unpack our props

Carlisle carried the tent, Emmett grabbed the cooler full of food (that would never be used) and the rest of us grabbed backpacks with a change of cloths or two.

Once we had all of our props we ran for about five minutes. We stopped when Carlisle said "we can set up here. Edward why don't you come with me, and we'll check the area to make sure no humans are near by." he then looked at everyone else and said "Emmett why don't you get the tent set up. Then when Edward and I return we will head out."

"How come I have to set up the tent? Why doesn't Jasper do it?" Emmett complained

Carlisle sighed "Jasper set it up last time, and it's your turn."

"But it's not like we're actualy gonna use it. Can't we just leave it in the bag?"

Esme thought it was a good idea to intervene "Emmett we have to in case a human comes around. And if you don't set up the tent I will take away every one of your video games for a year."

Emmett hung his head and said "okay mom."

Edward and Carlisle left and Emmett got the tent out of the bag while Esme started a conversation "Edward has been oftly quiet. I wonder why."

"I think it has something to do with Bella." Emmett said fighting with the tent

Rose nodded her agreement "she has been acting weird. I'm worried about her." Rosalie now has grown a fourth head.  
"What do you mean?" Esme asked concern dripping from her voice.

Rose sighed and looked somewhat distant "last week Bella had gotten mad at Edward because he said "Bella I want to make sure this is what you want. That in a few years down the road you're going to regret it, and want something I can't give you like kids." and she went off on him."

"So I walked over to her and asked her to come with me so we could talk, she hesitated but she came with me."

Rose now had unsheadable tears in her golden eyes "I asked her if Edward had told her my story she said "no." so I told her. When my story wad done I said "Bella I wanted children, and a life with the man I loved, and to grow old with him, and have grand children and great grand children but I never will. I found the man of my dreams but I still wouldn't of chosen this life for my self." when I looked over at her she was crying and her eyes looked glazed over. Then she snapped out of it, looked at me and mumbled something that sounded like she said "if only it were that easy. But it's not." but it was so low I'm not sure."

Emmet who had been finally wining the battle with the tent said "why would she say that? How would what you went through be easier than what she's doing?"

Rose looked at him with tears still in her eyes "I don't know but I really hope that's not what she said."

"Well I think when we get back it's gonna be out mission to find out what her problem is. "Emmett boomed finishing staking the tent to the ground.

Everyone agreed again. But before we could say much more Edward and Carlisle came back and told us the coast was clear.

**I hope that helped straiten things out.  
Oh and I really liked this book I finished lately and though some of you would too. **_**Lessons from a dead girl  
**_**Read and review! **


	10. breakfast and panic

**Alice says I will never own the twilight saga:(**

Bella pov

Michel said " if you need anything just come down and some one will help you" he continued in his French accent "and dinner starts at seven in the dinning area, and in the morning breakfast starts at seven." and he turned and left  
When the door was shut I said "I have to pee, then I'll make my call."

"Okay I'm gonna look through the phone book for a realtor."

When I came out of the bath room Leah was on the phone, so I took the phone book and looked through it until I came across what I was looking for. I dialed the number to the office and some one picker up on the third ring "hello this is walker clinic Pam speaking how I may help you?"

I took a deep breath and said "hi I was wondering if you had any obs that have any openings?"

"Hold on just a minute while I look it up." I looked up to find Leah smiling and she looked over to me and gave me a thumbs up so I tried to smile back but I think she saw through it. " Looks as if we do. Would you like to set up an appointment?"

"Um yeah. When can you get me in?"

"How's Thursday sound?"

"Sounds good. What time?"

"How about noon?"

"That's fine" I responded

"I'll need your phone number and name."

I gave my cell number and told her " Is Lake" for my name. And hung up after wishing her a good day.

"So when is your appointment?" Leah asked as soon as I hung up.

I looked up at her and said "Thursday but I need to find out were to change my name."

She nodded in understanding and said "well we'll be looking at houses Tuesday and Wednesday. So tomorrow we can find out were to do the name change legally then Monday we can relax." she told me.

That night we both fell asleep without dinner. But I woke up to Leah shoving my shoulder and saying "if you don't get up your gonna miss breakfast.

So I got up and dressed for the day and we went down stairs and found an empty table right next to the kitchen. And not five minutes later Loralie walks out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hands, and comes over to our table "is there any thing I can get for you?"

Leah looks up at her "I will have the omelet and a cup of coffee please."

"I'll take the same" I stated

"ahh no you won't." Leah commanded

I looked at her like she was crazy "and why caohhhh. I guess I'll have orange juice instead of coffee." I caught on mid sentence and stopped myself

"okay it'll be out in just a few minuets." said the brunnet with the coffee cup in hand.

"Thanks." Leah and I mumbled at the same time.  
After breakfast we called all over Salem but eventually got a time set up at the court house. I was expected there at nine in the morning then I would officially be Isabella lake.

The next two days were calm and we talked to the realtor a few times but other then that we didn't do any thing until we met her in person on Tuesday.

Alice pov

It was now Monday and we were heading back home. Every one was excited and nervous to get back to Bella and figure out what her problem is so we could help.

When we got to our house Edward said "I'm going to bellas and I'll bring her here."

Edward left and the rest of us went into the house. Everyone went their separate ways, rose and I up stairs to get nail polish, the boys went to their video games, Carlisle his study, and esme the kitchen.

Rose thought we should bellas toes red but I was thinking more pink "I have a good idea when Bella gets here we'll let her pick which..."

Rose was interrupted by esme yelling "Carlisle! oh my god! Carlisle! She left! Bellas gone!" every one In the house ran to the kitchen full on vampire speed.

"what do you mean bellas gone?" our father figure asked  
Esme sobbed "listen." and pressed a button on the answering machine.

"Alice, if you're there I need you to pick up. Please. Bella ran away I need to find her she isn't with Jake or any school friends. Please I need to know if you know were she is." charlies panicked voice filled the house.

"and she left this." esme sobbed handing a piece of paper to Carlisle. He smiled sadly and passed it to Jasper. He had the same look on his face, and passed the paper to Emmett, who sobbed and handed it over to hi wife. Rose read it and hugged Emmett and started sobbing. The mystery paper was now in my possession so I read it.

_Dear Cullen family,  
first I want to thank Carlisle and Esme for always being there whether it was to stitch up a cut or to bring me cookies just because you felt like it I love you guys like my own parents. Jasper I want you to know that you're like a brother to me I love you and I never have and never will blame you for the birthday incident. Rose I'm not sure how you feel about me but I think you understand me or at least to a point but I want you to know that I love you like a sister. Emmett you're the best funniest bear of a brother any one can ask for no offence jazz but I am gonna miss your jokes I love you brother bear. Alice, what can I say you're my best friend and sister and you are the best all around person ever I love you and I need you to take care of Edward and I will honestly be surprised if I can pull this off with out you finding out and trying to stop me?  
I love you, please don't look for me.  
Bella  
_  
"no! She can't! Why?" I started to lose it. Why would Bella run away?

Edward pov

Bella had been acting strange for a while now and the whole family has noticed so I decided to bring Bella to our house for an "intervention" so to speak.

I told every one I would go get her, but when I arrived at charlies house, his thoughts were screaming "where would she go?"

At the time I had no idea what he was thinking about so I thought to knock on the door. The chief had answered immediately as if waiting for someone. "Edward." he sounded relived "do you know were Bella is?"

"what?" I asked dumbfounded.

Panic washed over any and all relief that was there moments before. "Bella ran away but its legal cuz she's 18."

All I could think was, she left me she didn't love me Any more. "she left." a stated sadly.

" I know." said my missing loves father.

"I..I have to get home chief swan." I turned around and walked to my Volvo without another glance at the panicked chief.

I drove. Drove home. Well I guess it wasn't home, nowhere was home the only home I had, left, I have a loving family but no home.

The short drive from charlies house to mine, took almost 35 min because I didn't go faster then 40 the whole drive.

When I pulled into our long driveway I heard the "voices" of some of the pack. One I recognized immediately, Jacob. "what do you mean you don't know?" he yelled, out loud.

"I mean we haven't changed her.!" Alice yelled, but whispered "we mean she left us letters too. And she said not to follow her. She. Is. Gone." I walked .in to the house to see Alice crying in jaspers arms.

Alice stood when she saw me, she then gave me an envelope with my name on it. I opened the letter and read. I read that Bella loves me., I read the last things Bella had to say to me.  
**Okay iv been talking to Alice and she told me to share some of my knowledge ok the future... I'm gonna give you a sneak peek into a future chapter...  
**  
Esme pov

It was only my fifth week teaching at the elementary school, and Edward was coming in to be my shadow, one of his school projects.

"okay today we have a special guest, and helper, my son, Edward. He is going to stay the whole day. Dose anyone have any questions?"

No one raised there hand so I looked in the lesson book to see what they'd be working on for the day. When I finished that I started to write the different parts of speech, then there was a knock at the door and Edward stepped into the class room.

"class this is Edward." I told the second graders

"good morning Edward!" the entire class said at once.

Edward looked around the room but paused when he saw the girl in the first row, and directly in the center. But he recovered quickly and swept the rest of the room with his eyes.

I then went on to name each if the kids and had then when I finally announced the girl that caught his attention. "this is reenesme lake."

Neisse stood up and said "you can call me Neisse, that's what my mom calls me my brother used to call me that to. But now he only talks to me if it's an emergency. Mom used to call him Edward too. when he was bad but I all ways call him E.J." Neisse had tears threatening to spill.

Edward looked at me and at vampire speed said "I can't read her, it's like it was with, Bella." but he looked back at the girl struggling to jeep her tears contained and said "are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Neisse looked at him and said "E.J. said that we were gonna meet but mom and aunt Angie said he couldn't because, well..."

**Sorry but that is all I can give you with out spoiling it. And just FYI the drama is far from over. Please check out my poll I need help.  
**


	11. Breathe

Good bad baby ch11

Yay I am on a role. I love writing and I'm getting info for my next

Story so I have it ready but don't worry this story is far from over.

I found my USB it was in the last place I ever would have looked... In my snow boots.

I own noda

Bella pov

Tuesday and Wednesday when by quickly, Tuesday we met Lori, our realtor. And we looked at three houses; they were all nice but none

Were where I would I want my baby to grow up in.

Wednesday we looked at another four houses. I would have stopped at the second, but Leah insisted "if you don't look at them now you might regret it later."

Lori gave me the information to a good home inspector, who I called

Immediately, I mean we weren't even to the inn before I called.

The inspector said he'd go out and look through the inside and outside

Of the house, on Thursday. He told me I had no reason to be there, when he went through, but said to meet him at the house, on Friday to

Get the report and we could go through any and all repairs that needed done.

It was Thursday and I had to be at the walker clinic at noon for my appointment, with a doctor whose name I didn't yet know.

"Come on Leah, we need to hurry. I already had Michel call us a cab. I don't want to be late for my first appointment." Leah was taking

Forever to put her shoes on.

Leah grabs her purse and said "are ya coming?" as she opened the door.

I was mad so I yelled at her "Leah, you stupid bitch. Stop toying with me it isn't funny!" she was laughing

"What the fudge is so funny?"

"I...am...a...bitch..." she said in between laughs. (I my self don't usually cuss on paper, computer, or other wise.)

I looked at her like she was insane, the joke going right over my head. "Yes you are. Now lets go." we started in to the hall.

Leah started laughing harder "literally..." we made it out of the dragonfly and in to the cab by this point.

Ohh I started laughing too. The cabbie looked at both of us as if we were crazy. Stupid hormones, Leah stopped once we were pulling out of the parking lot; I soon followed her lead, and settled down enough to hear the radio.

"That was Kelly Clarkson with already gone. Up next is Taylor swift,

Breath" said the man on the radio.

Taylor swifts voice over took the radio

"I see you face in my mind as I drive away" I could see Edwards look of pain when he reads the letter.

"Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way" not even Alice.

"People are people and sometimes we change our minds" or they change for us.

"But it's killing me to see you go after all this time" only this time

I'm leaving you.

"Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm...

Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm... Mmm...

Music starts playing like the end if a sad movie" how ironic.

"It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see, Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down" I can't get much lower.

"Now I don't know what to be without you around" how stupid am I?

"And we know it's never simple, Never easy, Never a clean break, No one here to save me" Cuz I left everyone I loved.

"You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand" maybe better.

"And I can't breath without you but I have to, Breath without you but I have to" I've tried and I can't.

"Never wanted this, Never want to see you hurt" but you are everyone is.

"Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve" I swerved, crashed, and I'm burning.

"People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out" it should have.

"And nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out" Cuz I won't say.

"And we know it's never simple, never easy, never a clean break, No one here to save me

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand, and I can't breathe without you but I have to, Breath without you but I have to" I should've listened to you.

"Its 2am, Feeling like I just lost a friend" and so much more.

"Hope you know it's not easy, Easy for me,

Its 2am, Feeling like I just lost a friend,

I hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me, and we know it's never simple, never easy

Never a clean break no one here to save me

Ohh ohh, I can't breath without you" I dot think I ever will.

"But I have to, Breath without you, But I have to, Breath without you, But I have to, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" I'm sorry.

By the time the song had gone to the chorus the first time I was crying. When the song ended I was sobbing saying "I'm sorry, I'm

Sorry" over and over again until Leah got me calmed down.

"Bella you need to settle down, stress and this kind of thing isn't Good for the baby." she told me. And I soon calmed down, "Bella, what was the break down for?"

I looked the dark skinned girl, sitting next to me, in the eyes and said two simple words "the song" and she understood.

The last few minutes of the trip were only filled with the sound of the radio, and I tuned that out, just in case. "Here we are girls."

"Could you wait here until were done so you can drive us back?"

"Sure. I can do that." the balding man said.

"Thanks." I said to the guy now waiting on us.

Leah walked ahead of me and opened the door for me. When we walked in we saw a waiting room with three doors. And an open desk where two nurses sat.

One of the nurses was on the phone with some one (I would bet it wasn't important by the way she was giggling) so I walked up to the

Other girl with Leah behind me still. "Hello, I have an appointment at noon with an ob doctor?" it came out like I asked.

"Name please." the nurse asked.

I looked at her and said with as much confidence as I could muster "Isabella Lake."

The nurse looked back at her computer and typed for a few minutes before saying "alrighty. Dr. Walker Will be with you in just a couple of minutes. If you'll follow me." so we did, we followed her strait into a room like any other doctors room.

The nurse said "if you'll stand on the scale, I'll get your weight." the nurse told me.

She wrote on the chart and left the room after a few other tests.

Soon the doctor came in and said "hi I'm Dr. Cris walker, please call me

Cris."

"Um hi I'm Isabella lake, but I go by be...is, I go by Is."

I stated Cris didn't seem to notice the stutter and asked "so how far along are you?"

"Uh about two months." I told her

"Okay how long ago did you find out?" the doctor asked writing in the

Chart.

"Two or three weeks."

Cris looked at me "have you been taking any vitamins or meds?" I just

Shook my head no.

Dr Walker then stood and walked over to the sink to wash her hands. "So is this your practice?" I asked her.

"Nope I'm a completly different walker." she said with a smile. Putting on some gloves.

"Okay do you or anyone in your family have any birth defects?"Her hands were probing my stomach

I was looking at a poster on the wall and shook my head, pretending that her hands weren't on my body. "Not that I know of."

"What about the father?" and that set me over the edge with a flash back.

The poster I was staring at was now a fire with blue and green flames. The exam table I was on was now log in the sand. Mike is talking to me, but I can't hear him I know what's gonna happen next so I try to leave, to wake up, anything but I can't he's holding me down.

He pulls the knife out, his lips start to move but I can't focus on what he's saying I'm trying to get away but I can't, he holds me down. I failed I lost to him. Again. But this time it all goes black. And I thank god it did.

Leah pov

"What about the father?" the dr. asked and Bella froze, her eyes glazed over.

"Shit!" I swore under by breath when she kicked Cris. I stood and ran over to her "Bella! C'mon Bella you need wake up now! He's not here!

It's just you and me you need to wake up!"

Tears were running down her face as she screamed for her attacker to stop. Once Cris caught her breath she yelled out the door "I need help

In here! Bring me a sedative!" and she ran to bellas flying legs to stop her from hurting anyone.

Then two nurses and another doctor came running in one of them

Holding a syringe with a clearish liquid. While every one was fighting to restrain Bella the nurse slid the med into her arm and she relaxed but before she passed out she said well slurred three words "sorry. Love. Edward."

Someone tapped on my shoulder "miss can I talk to you for a minute?" Cris asked as everyone else left. I nodded to her.

The dr. took a deep breath "do you know if Is was raped?"

I answered in a whisper "yeah she was."

"has she reported it?"

"no. She refuses."

"do you know who did it?"

I looked her in the eye and said "if I did he would not be alive."

Cris took another breath "I know it isn't any of my business but it will help me with knowing how to go about things with her. Are... Are you and is in a relationship?"

Sorry if I kept going it would have been too long R&R


	12. Mike?

sorry last night i posted the wrong chapter maby this will make a little more sence.

If I owned twilight and or anything I write about I wouldn't be on ff

Leah pov

"Ya...no we are both straight" I smiled

"How did you find out she was pregnant?"

"Well I just got home from running, and my cell rang I answer to hear

Is crying. She told me she needed a pregnancy test. At first I was

Shocked but I did it. When I got to her house she was curled in a ball in the bath room crying. I took a deep breath " then when the test

Said positive she broke down even more saying "he'll be so mad I Cheated" or" I didn't want to he made me. I'm sorry" so I eventually figured out it wasn't Edwards or Jacobs and asked her if she was raped."

"why did she go to you for help?"

I already had a lie to tell "we were friends for a while."

"Jacob and Edward?" the Dr asked

"Her ex's"

"Dose Is know who did this?"

"yeah but she won't tell me. Any time I ask her shell freak out of

ignore me."

"alright. Do you know if she got tested for any stds?"

I shook my head "I don't think so."

Dr nodded and then spoke "alright I'll draw some blood."

When we walker was done asking me questions we walked back to the room

were Bella was still sleeping "the sedative should be wearing off

soon. So it shouldn't Be too long before she wakes up." she said

shaking a vile of blood, while she walked out of the room.

Not ten minutes after she said that Bella was starting to stir in her

sleep. She was muttering "Edward, so cold, so good." and she sighed

"ah Jake warm is nice." then the look on her face, in all honesty it

scared the shit out of me, and she started to kick and hit at the air

above her "No. No. Miiiiiiiiiike! Nooo!" Bella shrilled, so loud

it made me jump, as she shot up, eyes wide, and panting.

The doctor was still out of the room so I said "Bella, are you all

right?" I didn't want her to know I knew about 'mike' that I was

assuming was her rapist.

Bella pov

I woke up panting and I heard Leah ask if I was okay so since I still

couldn't breathe properly a nodded. Once i could finally breath I a

asked "Did I say anything?"

"Yeah, acutely you did you said something about Jake being warm and

Edward being cold then you woke with a scream" I couldn't tell if she

was lying but I hoped she wasn't.

"oh. Soo, when can we leave?" I asked

Leah chuckled "I'm not sure hold on." she stood up and walked out. A

minute later Leah and dr. Walker came walking into the room "you are

free to leave. But I do want to talk to you."

"okay" I sighed. I knew this was coming I mean I did kick her in the

face, I wouldn't want to see me again either.

Cris nodded "well Is, when you were sedated i took some blood." were

she was going with this I had no idea. "Is I need to ask you. Were you

raped?" I did not see that one coming.

"Ahh. Ah." I was shocked what was I going to say? But behind Cris I

saw Leah nod encouraging me to tell the doctor.

Dr. Walkers voice brought me out of my trance "Is, I need you to tell

the truth so I can help you. And I swear I would never say a word to

anyone."

I still had my mouth open and couldn't bring myself to make any words.

So I just barley nodded. She sighed, looked me in the eyes and said

"that was very brave of you to admit that. Now I usually wouldn't ask

you to come back for a month but since we are getting blood work done

come on back in about two weeks."

"okay" I stood up and walked to the door but before i left Cris said

"April 26."

I looked at her like she was crazy. And she said "the due date is

April 26th" and we walked out to the waiting cab.

Alice pov

It's been almost five days since Bella left us. Once we found out she left we were all devastated. But we all, wolves included think Leah

Clearwater is helping her.

Edward hasn't left his room since the day we came home.

Flashback

Jacob and some of the pack came over and were accusing us of changing

and, or killing Bella, but when Edward walked the door looking

dead ( no pun intended ) they knew it wasn't us.

End flashback

But I haven't seen them or Edward since, but Edward looks ten times

worst now then he did after he left her I never knew it was possible.

Suddenly I'm not sitting in the living room with Jasper anymore I'm in

the forest.

Vision

Rosalie is sitting on a fallen...? No a broken tree by the stream

Looking into the clouds with tear filled eyes that will never have the

Simple release they ask for.

"Who did this to you?" asks the blond to the wind.

End vision

"What'd you see darlin' " asks my sweet husband.

"You know what? I don't know."

Bella

When we got back the the inn Leah went to get some food, but I went to the room to lie down, but as soon as I do the phone rings. "Hello?"

"Is this Is Lake?" asks a man whose Boise I can't place.

"Yes who is this?

"Oh I'm sorry this is Tony DiNardo, the home inspector." says the voice.

"Oh hey so any news?" I ask as Leah walks in and sins on the bed across from me.

"Well there isn't anything major but I did find a few windows that

Weren't sealed properly and called the number Lori gave me and the

Seller says he'll replace them. But all and all that's good."

"That's awesome!" I exclaimed as I gave Leah a thumbs up to show her a

Sign as good news.

"Yeah and as soon as Lori says the windows are replaced you can move

In.". Tony tells me.

"Oh my god, thank you!" I almost yell at him

"No problem, have a nice day miss."

"You too."

I look over to Leah who is looking at me with wondering eyes. "It's great. The guy selling it is replacing a few of the windows but after

That I can move in. I'll just have to pay. I mean I'll just pay the

Two hundred grand in cash and that's it the house is mine forever."

Leah nodded "I know, and Lori says you got the house pretty cheap too.

Later that night

Leahs pov

I couldn't sleep, I was thinking about this 'mike' guy and what kind of an animal would do this to anyone let alone a girl like Bella.

"Love you Edward, sorry" mumbled an asleep Bella from the bed next to me.

I know Bella and I weren't ever close or anything but I felt like I

need to help her. And for some reason I felt bad for the leach too, but the way she talks about him awake or not I can tell she really is in love with him. What I still can't understand is why she left him

Knowing how hard it was the first time they were apart. "Jacob you're my best friend." the pregnant girl says.

, I was also thinking of how to hide all of this from the pack. I'd done well so far but what happened when i went back? They were going to know

I knew where she was. And what if Sam ordered me to tell? "Noooo! Miiiike! Stop. Please." She ended in a whisper. But that is what I would do I wouldn't go to the pack, at least not yet. I'll find the monster that did this to my new friend.


	13. thinking

For Christmas I got a laptop so I'm now writing more often on both of my ff stories and my other and I'm starting a book I would like to get published someday.

Oh and sorry for the mix up last chapter I uploaded the wrong chapter.

And I still don't own twilight.

Two weeks later

Bella pov

It had been about two weeks since my first appointment with Cris, and boy had we been busy. The house was ready a day after I got the call from tony ( ;) if you watch NCIS you'll get it.) and I was able to move in to my new house. So Leah and I met up with Lori and got the payment worked out and as of three days before the house I completely mine.

But I had to buy just about everything I need so to save on money I was going to good will, and yard sales since I was told I could move in. Leah thought I was crazy with how much money I 'borrowed' from the Cullens, I could go out and but brand new everything.

But after the baby was born I was planning on going to college and getting a degree. That way I could actually support my family without the help of anyone.

Leah was going through the radio stations as we were on our way to one of these yard sales and she stopped on radio Disney, saying that I need to get used to listing to kid music if I'm going to be a mom, and we had heard the perfect song to help make my point.

When I was just a little girl,  
My mama used to tuck me into bed,  
And she'd read me a story.  
It always was about a princess in distress  
And how a guy would save her  
And end up with the glory.  
I'd lie in bed  
And think about  
The person that I wanted to be,  
Then one day I realized  
The fairy tale life wasn't for me.  
I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free (Come and set me free)

I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself.  
Someday I'm gonna find Someone  
Who wants my soul, heart and mind  
Who's not afraid to show that he loves me  
Somebody who will understand I'm happy just the way i am  
Don't need nobody taking care of me  
(i will be there)I will be there for him just as strong as he will be there for me  
when i give myself then it has got to be an equal this

I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free (Come and set me free)

I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself.  
I can slay (I can slay) my own dragons. (My own dragons)  
I can dream my own dreams. (My own dreams)  
My knight in shining armor (shining armor) is me.  
So I'm gonna set me free.  
I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody to come and set me free.  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive

Unless somebody's on my side  
I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody (oh - Oh) to come and set me free.  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself.  
I don't wanna be like Cinderella,  
Sitting in a dark, cold, dusty cellar,  
Waiting for somebody (oh -Oh)to come and set me free.  
I don't wanna be like someone waiting  
For a handsome prince to come and save me  
On I will survive  
Unless somebody's on my side  
Don't wanna depend on no one else.  
I'd rather rescue myself.

But back to the point, Leah wouldn't let me lift a finger, and said we _had _to get everything even remotely heavy before she left so I don't hurt myself or the baby. And we almost had, all we needed were a few odds and end for my new home not including the baby stuff, I was going to wait until I found out the sex.

The day before we had gone back to the Dr. office, and found out I was in fact infected with chlamydia, and I got the 'good' news and 'bad' news. "Good news is we can treat this with some medications. But Is chances are you won't be able to have any more children. I'm so sorry." Cris told me. "And Is, I really think it would be a good idea for you to see a psychiatrist, here's a card to dr. Todd. She's a friend and she's good at what she does, please call her." She gave me the card. And I just nodded and put it in my pocket.

I hadn't told Leah about the psychiatrist and she was going to the bathroom when dr. walker had given me the card. At first I thought it was a stupid idea, but I need something to talk about, to someone. Because Leah will be leaving soon and I wasn't sure if my sleeping patterns were good for my baby.

At night I couldn't get to sleep, and once I did I would have the same nightmare. Were I'm with Jacob, then Edward, then mike. But they were different every time, like I would be with Edward in his Volvo, or house. And with Jake in the forest, or garage. But always with mike on the beach.

Sometimes in these _dreams_ Angela, Ben, and others would look for me but couldn't see me when I was in front of them. Or victoria would be laughing at me as I struggled against mike. I was lucky to get two or three hours of sleep each night and even I could tell I looked dead. Almost like a vampire but without the beauty and blood lust of it.

So when Leah came back into the house I was going to ask her what she thought I should do, I looked out the window to see her opening the mail box and talking out a magazine, as she turns around she starts to talk to one of my neighbors.

I went back to thinking and as always my thoughts revolved around Edward, and how horrid I was with myself for leaving him after I made him swear not to leave me._ Mike_ and what happened on the beach and how it has and will affect the rest of my life, which is now without any of the people I love including my soul mate. And the baby witch is the only good thing that has happened from all of this witch brings me back to Edward again and what he would say if he knew I had cheated on him with _mike. _

I heard the front door open and Leah came in saying something about how the neighbor was nice but she talked too much, but when she saw me trying to wipe away the tears she stopped and came over to me kneeling in front of the chair I was sitting in. "What's the matter." She said in her soft voice that she only used for this kind of thing.

"I'm okay I was just thinking, and my mind keeps drifting to sad things." I try to give her a smile but it seems really watery.

"um… yesterday at the doctors, when you went to the bathroom dr. walker gave me this." I handed her the car I'd been looking at for a while now.

She looks down and reads it and freezes up for just a second thinking of what to say "I think maybe you should go, talk about thing, just don't say anything about your best friend being a giant wolf or your boyfriend being a blood sucking myth. That might get you sent to the loony bin. So then your kid would live with me and end up all screwed up." She smiles trying to lighten the mood and for the most part it works.

I nod and she continues "And it might help you sleep, you know, if you talk about it." She said seriously looking down at the floor.

"And I thought I had you fooled." I told her as I got up and went back to looking at a good paint color for the living room like I was before I started thinking again.

Okay this is more of a filler chapter but I'd still like the reviews please *insert cheesy smile*


	14. Leah leaving, invites, and Dr Todd

**I don't own any thing I write about. But if you like my writing, mystery, and NCIS, take a look at my other story too.**

**Bellas pov**

I have my house all set up and have most of the thing I need for the baby but today is the day Leah is leaving. "I'll miss you." She tells me as the intercom announces her flight.

"We'll miss you too!" I say my emotions getting the best of me, and tears start to fall.

"If I don't go back not only will the pack be hounding me so will the Cullens." Leah hugs me. "But will you do me a favor?" I nod so she goes on. "Keep seeing Dr. Todd."

I roll my eyes "I've only met her once." She glares at me, "Okay, I will."

"Bye Is, I'll see you soon."

"Be carefull Leah." I call to her as she leaves my sight.

**Angelas pov**

Bella has been gone for over a month, and it is killing the cullens and, me. She was the best friend I've had I a while, but Alice and Edward were her life, and her theirs.

I hadn't seen either of them since Bella left, but before Alice and I had become friends. "Are you sure they'll come?" Ben asked as I put the invitation in the mail box.

"I don't know, but she is my friend and I want her there." I told him.

**Alice pov**

"Alice dear, you have mail." Esme said in the same sad voice that everyone had used for the last month.

"Thanks, mom." I told her as I walked into the kitchen. I opened the envelope to find an wedding invite from Ben and Angela, and not only to me but Edward also.

"I'm not going!" Edward said firmly from his room. "I cant handle all of their thoughts." He explains.

"I understand, but I want to go, and tell Angela about the move and say good bye." I tell him.

**Bella pov **

Leah had been gone for a few days and today I have another appointment with Dr. Todd, and I know I said I would go but I can't bring myself to get in my car. Its whats best for the baby, how am I gonna talk to someone I don't know if I can't event think about it without a meltdown.

But it's for the baby! I decided, and walkout to the car, and I was on my way to see Dr. Todd by myself for the first time, and as nervous as ever I park and take out the keys, just breathing until I hear a song I've listened to but never _heard_ before. Behind these hazel eyes, Kelly Clarkson.

Seems like just yesterday  
You were a part of me  
I used to stand so tall  
I used to be so strong  
Your arms around me tight  
Everything, it felt so right  
Unbreakable, like nothin' could go wrong  
Now I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything  
Opened up and let you in  
You made me feel alright  
For once in my life  
Now all that's left of me  
Is what I pretend to be  
So together, but so broken up inside  
'Cause I can't breathe  
No, I can't sleep  
I'm barely hangin' on

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Swallow me then spit me out  
For hating you, I blame myself  
Seeing you it kills me now  
No, I don't cry on the outside  
Anymore...  
Anymore...

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes

Here I am, once again  
I'm torn into pieces  
Can't deny it, can't pretend  
Just thought you were the one  
Broken up, deep inside  
But you won't get to see the tears I cry  
Behind these hazel eyes.

Frustrated with the lyrics I get out of the car slamming the door and walk into the building. The receptionist looked to me and said "Are you Is Lake?" as I walked to her. I nod." Well Dr. Todd said you can just go in."

"Thank you." I say softly. As I open the wooden door to the office.

"Hello miss Lake." Said the light haired doctor.

"You can call me Is." I tell her as she gestures for me to sit.

"Well then you call me kate. I was afraid you weren't coming." She admits

"I almost didn't."

"So Is, is everything okay? I mean why are you crying?" She looks me in the eyes.

I wipe the tears off my face mot knowing I had been crying. "I…It…" I had trouble finding the right words. "I heard a song that made me sad." I tell her.

"What was the name of the song?" anksd Kate.

"Behind These Hazel Eyes."

She writes that down. "why did that song make you sad?"I take a deep breath, not sure how to answer her without telling her yet.

"It made me think of myself."

She could tell the line of questions was making me uneasy "So why did you come today?" she ased after a few minutes.

"My baby." I tell her.

She looks shocked to hear that. But goes on "What do you mean?"

"Well a few people have told me I need to talk and get rid of stress for the baby."

"I see. So how do your parents feel about you being pregnant this young?"

"I…Uh…They don't know." I whisper.

"You haven't told them? Is that why you started coming to talk?"

I think of ways to say this "I don't live with them my mom lives in Florida, and dad lives in Washington. But that isn't why I started to come here."

Kate writes that down "Then what is?"

"I was…He…I'm not sure I can talk about it yet." I said but it does have to do with the baby."

"Okay. We'll work on talking about it."

**Tell me what you think!**


	15. letting it out

**I have to write this chapter, but by the end of it or the next chapter it'll speed up. I own nothing!**

**Angelas pov**

** "**Thanks for coming." I said. We were just starting the reception, it had ben about 20 minutes since I became Mrs. Chenny (Sorry I can't remember how to spell bens last name.)

Alice gave me a small smile "Yeah, sorry Edward just couldn't handle it. Besides I wanted to talk to you." She responded in a small voice.

"What's that?" I asked her.

"Well the truth is, we're moving. We're almost packed and we'll be moved out in the next week. I just wanted to let you know." Said the pixie like girl.

"Well I'm going to miss you, but at least I know your leaving and you didn't just leave me." the second it came out I backtracked " That is not what I meant! I'm just glad I'm important enough for you to tell me."

Alice said "I know, it's okay. " She hugged me and said "Have fun in Hawaii." Her cold arms left me and the last thing she had said was "You're a great friend, I'll remember you for forever." And she left.

**Bellas pov**

**Six months pregnant **

It was the day I found out the sex of the baby! But I have to say I had been having dreams of my old life two and three times a night. I get in the car and start driving towards the walker clinic as I did this I realize how much I missed my bid, loud, rusty truck.

When I get in I was called back to Dr. Walker immediately "Hello Is, are you ready to find out the gender of the baby?" she asked excitedly

I nod "Yeah, are you always this excited to find out the sex of a baby?" I asked.

She gave a small laugh "Yes I am. Now get on the table and I'll take a look." I did as she said. She put the cold gel on my way over grown belly and the first thing I think of is Edward but im soon pulled back by "Oh my god!"

"What's the matter? Is the baby okay?" panic was the only thing I felt.

"Yeah the babies are fine." She said.

"Thank god the babies are okay!" I said and she smiled "Wait. What?"

"Is, you're having twins. A boy and girl."

I couldn't think everything was blank "I…Er…Ah…Wow." Was all I managed to get out.

I can't remember the rest of that day too well other than being so excited I wanted nothing more than to tell Alice.

I do however recall the next appointment with Dr. Todd very well. So many thing happened that day, so many walls fell or at least started too.

I walked in crying again, although I hadn't done that the last few sessions, "Why are you crying?" was the first thing she asked me.

"Another song." She handed me a case full of CD's and told me to see if the song was on any of them "Yeah this one."

She put in the player and I told her which song "Now when the song is over I want you to tell me what you fell." I nod and she starts it.

_I was sitting on my doorstep,  
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,  
But I knew I had to do it,  
And he wouldn't understand,  
So hard to see myself without him,  
I felt a piece of my heart break,  
But when you're standing at a crossroad,  
There's a choice you gotta make._

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye.

I know there's a blue horizon,  
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,  
Getting there means leaving things behind,  
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye.

Time heals,  
The wounds that you feel,  
Somehow, right now.

I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
Starts with goodbye,  
The only way you try to find,  
It's sad but, sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye,  
Na na na na na na na.

The song was over "can you tell me what you're feeling?" Kate asked sitting next to me instead of across from me.

"It brings back sooo much for me. The man I love, well he left me over a year ago." I tell her.

"Why are you just talking to someone now?"

"He came back." Not paying her a lot of attention but knowing I needed to talk. "We we're going to get married. His sister is, no was my best friend."

"Did something happen to him?"

"Yeah…well not to him. I was at a friends and I did something stupid and ran away from my problems."

Kate was writing "What Happened? What made you run away?"

"I went for a walk and came across some school friends, we sat at the camp fire." My eyes were closed trying my hardest not let the flash backs come. "I llost track of time then _HE_ offered me a drink, root beer."

"Would _HE_ be your boyfriend?"

"No!" I yell trying my best to get rid of the vivid flashes taking over. But I felt his hand on my arm. "No! Please no! I can't!"

I see the odd blue, green fire that only drift wood can make, mike holds my arms, pushes me down I scream for any, and all to hear but no one ever comes. His knife cuts me, his knees and fists bruise me, body crushes me and he leaves me in the sand beaten, blood and crying.

"Is, come on I need you back with me. Is?" Kates voice breaks through the nightmare.

"I'm sorry! He made me! I couldn't let Edward know! I'M so sorry!" I found myself curled in a ball on the floor.

"Is, sweetie what happened?"

"I was raped!" I sobbed.

**Yay its moving along now! Tell me what you think!**


	16. I think my water broke

**It feels like I haven't written for this story in a while so I hope to make this chapter longer and soon Bella will run into some familiar faces and not the ones your think or at least not yet.**

**If I owned Twilight I wouldn't be in high school struggling to write my own crime novel. **

**Oh and there are two different 'Kate' characters not the same person**

** Edwards pov**

Eight long months since Bella left me. 5,760 hours since I played a single key on my piano. 345,600 minutes since I listened to a note of any music what-so-ever.

Esme is forcing me to go to the new school along with the others saying we have all been mopping around for too long. Even she is volunteering more of her time to many different organizations, Carlisle is spending more time at the new hospital, Alice buying out most stores in a hundred mile radius. Rosalie is working taking apart every ones cars and putting them together again, her bind always busy when I'm around. Emmett is helping his wife, and Jasper is going to school to become a psychologist. All of them with the exception of Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper going to high school.

So today I'm sitting in the back seat of Emmetts Jeep as the radio blasts a song I've never heard before.

_There's a thousand words that I could say  
To make you come home  
Oh, seems so long ago you walked away  
Left me alone  
I remember what you said to me  
You were acting so strange  
and maybe I was too blind to see  
That you needed a change_

Was it something I said  
To make you turn away?  
To make you walk out and leave me cold  
If I could just find a way  
To make it so that you were right here  
But right now..

I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I've drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains..

You're gone...  
You're gone...  
Baby you're gone  
Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone...  
You're gone...  
You're...

I don't wanna make excuses, baby  
Won't change the fact that you're gone  
But if there's something that I could do  
Won't you please let me know?  
The time is passing so slowly now  
Guess that's my life without you  
and maybe I could change my every day  
But baby I don't want to

So I'll just hang around  
and find some things to do  
To take my mind off missing you  
and I know in my heart  
You can't say that you don't love me too  
Please say you do

Yeah...

I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I Drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains

You're gone..  
You're gone...  
You're gone  
You're gone...you're gone... you're...  
Gone

Oh...

Oh, what will I do  
If I can't be with you  
Tell me where will I turn to  
Baby where will I be  
Now that we are apart  
Am I still in your heart?  
Baby why don't you see?  
That I need you here with me  
Oh...

I've been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I've drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains

Been sitting here  
Can't get you off my mind  
I've tried my best to be a man and be strong  
I drove myself insane  
Wishing I could touch your face  
But the truth remains

You're gone..  
You're gone...  
You're gone  
You're gone  
Gone  
You're gone...

But the truth remains  
You're...

The car comes to a stop as we pull into the school parking lot. I can feel my eyes fill up with tears I will never shed, as I hear the buzz of Emmett's apology in the back of my mind.

"Ah… Alice would tell the school I'll be in tomorrow, I need some time to think, and maybe I'll go to Tonya's for a while."

Alice nods "Okay but you're coming tomorrow if I have to drag you in by your ear." I give her a small smile knowing that she probably would.

I run in the direction of our new house but go right past it and run for a few more mile until I reach the Denali's home. I knock on the white door and soon find Kate opening the door for me and asked me to come in.

"So what brings you here Edward?" Kate asked me.

"I just need a day away but not alone." I tell my cousin.

After a few moments of silence "Edward would you like to talk about it? About _her?" _

We sat there for another couple of minutes before I said "What did I do? Did she just stop loving me? Realize she didn't want to marry a vampire? Did I miss something?" I asked the blond.

A sigh escaped her lips as she said "I honestly don't know, I wish I did, but you know her better than anyone."

"Not well enough."

**Bellas pov**

I've been talking to Dr. Todd and I have to say it has helped, a little. It's not like I'm gonna go out and start dating, I don't think I'll ever be over Edward. But Kate even helped me apply for colleges around here so I can start next fall after the babies are born.

And thinking of the babies I now have everything I will need for both of them when they arrive next month, even dippers are sitting under the changing table. I also have a job lined up for after they're born, I'll be a secretary for a photographer in town.

Today I have another meeting with Kate, so I waddle out of the house to my car and make my way to her office. As I pull into the parking garage I feel a pain in my stomach. So I do the first thing that comes to mind, I pull out my cell.

"Kate I'm not going to make it in."

"Why? Where are you?" asked the Dr.

I put the car in reverse and head for the exit. "Pulling out of the parking garage."

I could hear the confusion in her voice as she says "Then why don't you come in?"

"I'm going to the hospital. I think my water just broke."

**I was going to stop here but I said this would be longer than the norm. So here you go ya lucky duck you.**

I got to the emergency entrance of the hospital and left my car in front not caring if it was illegal, something was wrong I could feel it.

"I need help! Something is wrong with my babies" I said to whoever will listen.

A doctor comes to me with a wheel chair and brings me to a room, he sets me on the bed and I scream. He got my legs up to look at the baby but I started to freak out. "No! I need Dr. Cris Walker! Please!" I said trying to block the flashbacks thinking of my babies health seemed to work and soon all thoughts of mike were gone.

"Miss I don't think we can wait."

"Wanna bet? Get her here now!" I yelled at the man.

So I waited for five minutes before I couldn't wait and told the unnamed doctor so. He scrubbed up and started to put on his gloves when the wooden door bursts open and in came Cris. "Oh thank god!" I said when I saw her.

She washed up and looks under the gown I had put on "Okay Is the babies are coming, 1, 2, 3, Push!"

"Ahhhhh!"

"Again."

"Ahhhhh!"

"One more, as hard as you can!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh!" I heard a small cry as one of the babies where free.

"It's a baby boy, do you have a name?"

I didn't have time to answer before the next one wanted out "Ahhhh!"

Dr. Walker gave my little boy to Dr. no name as she went back to tend to the next baby "I see feet! Is we need to get this one out. Push!"

"GAhhhhh!"

"Come on!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHhh!" I felt the baby leave me.

"I need scissors the umbilical cord is around her neck!"

No name gave her what she asked for but still I heard no cry like I had with my baby boy "What's…wrong with…her?" I asked

"We need to get her to NICU now!" I'm not sure who said it but it was the last thing I heard before I passed out from exhaustion.

**Alright it might not be as long as I had hoped but the story is moving on! Please review!**


	17. Calling and Painting

**I've been reading this awesome story it's a harry potter fic but if there were a sequel to the series I would **_**Bonding**_** to be just that. asouldreams is a great writer and even better story teller if you even remotely like harry potter you'll love **_**Bonding**_**.**

** I'd also like to say if you haven't please check out my other stories **_**You're Late,**_** it is an NCIS fic, Kate is kidnaped, Ziva joins the team after a while, Ari doesn't die yet, not sure yet but might be Ziva/Kate and will have Gibbs/Jenny.**

_**Rebuilding**_** is a Harry potter fic and for now a one shot, I will admit it is a bit rushed but if ppl like it I'll go back and fix it and plan to make it much more detailed and tie up some loose ends. Hermione was raped (that seems to be my thing) at Malfoy manor and ends up preg (also my thing) but loses the baby, Draco has issues dealing with what he was forced to witness and McGonagall is there for her students.**

** I own nada**

**Alice pov**

Emmett is driving, Rose is in the front seat, and I'm in the back alone, because Edward is hunting and Jazz isn't going to high school this year.

_**Vision**_

_ All I see is black, I hear a voice but it's distant and hollow. Feel my mouth open and something is forced down my throat. "Dr. Walker tell the mother she's stabilized, we had to intubate her."_

_**End Vision**_

I came out of the vision and see both Rose and Emmett looking at me. "That was one of the oddest visions I've ever had." I tell my 'older' siblings

"Why? What did you see?" Asked Emmett

"I Didn't."

Rosalie raised an eyebrow and says "Well either tell us or not I have things to do."

I rolled my eyes "It was all black, like I couldn't open my eyes. And I felt like I was in a… bubble the voice I heard was distant, and someone was pushing something down my throat. I think I was the person, not seeing them but being them."

"That hasn't ever happened. Has it?" asked Emmett

I shook my head "What did the voice say?"

I look at my sister and tell her _"Dr. Walker tell the mother she's stabilized, we had to intubate her." _

"Sounds like a kid." Emmett says

"Do we know a Dr. Walker?" Rose asked thinking

"I can ask dad."

"He doesn't know any." I told them seeing the conversation between Emmett and Carlisle.

** Angelas pov**

"Ahh! Hey!" I yelled at Ben when he splashed me with the dark blue paint.

"What?" he looked at me innocently "You have a little…" he pointed to his nose and cheek.

"I know." I looked at the paint brush in my hand and with a flick of my wrist paint was flying at the perpetrator.

Just like a scene out of movie we had a full on paint war. But two cans of paint, and two hours, and a change of clothes latter we're walking into the closest Lowe's getting more paint.

"I'm so excited! I can't wait until we're done." I say unable to contain myself.

"I know, we're on the last room, don't even have much to unpack." Ben said as he picks the paint color. "So when do you start your job at the daycare?"

"Next week. Mrs. Figg said to come in at noon." I smiled "But I'm still unsure of how to get there by myself, Salem is big, and busy."

Ben paid for our supplies then kissed my temple "Don't be, you'll be great."

**Bella pov**

After hours of being asleep I woke up when one of the nurses was putting an IV in my arm, "E.J., Reenesme… Okay?"

The nurse looked at me almost shocked "Ms. Lake and you tell me where you are?"

"Hospital. Where are my Babies?"

"Well the little girl…"

I cut her off "Reenesme."

"Reenesme was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck, and wasn't breathing, and still isn't on her own." She saw my tears and paused "The little boy…"

"Edward Jacob, E.J."

"E.J. is perfectly health baby, but refused to calm unless he was in the same bed as his sister. So they are both in the incubator."

"Can I see them?"

"Yeah, just let me get a wheelchair."

"I don't want…" I got a stern look from the nurse and knew I wouldn't win "Okay."

About twenty minutes later the nurse came back with the chair and Cris "How are you feeling Is?"

"I'm okay but I need to see my babies they're telling me Reenesme is sick." The nurse helps me into the wheelchair. "Said that she couldn't breathe when she was born," I could feel tears form and slid down my face.

"It'll be alright, she's stable and she'll be going home with you soon." Cris takes over pushing my chair and walks out of the room into a hallway that is empty other than an older man coming out of a room and walking in the opposite direction. "Here we are."

Cris pushed me up to a bed with a dome like shape, and i looked through the plastic and see two tiny figures, one wearing a blue cap and a blue blanket wrapped around him. The other had on a pink hat but no blanket, just a dipper. But the first thing I saw was the tube running from a machine next to the bed, and into my little girl's mouth.

"Hey baby, don't worry mommy's here." I cried and put my hand on the dome "Can I hold them?" I looked up to the doctor.

"You can hold E.J. but not Reenesme at least not yet."

I nod "Okay, can I hold him then?" she nodded.

As I was looking at my lil girl Cris got my lil boy. She handed him to me and my tears where unstoppable as I held _my_ baby. And not sure what I was thinking other than 'How can I be a mom?'

Cris handed me a bottle filled with formula and I put the nipple to his little pink lips, not sure if I was happy or sad I made a split second decision "Um Cris?"

"Yeah, mommy?"

"Can I use a phone?"

"Yeah, you can use my cell." The sandy blond handed me a flip phone. "I'll leave you alone. Should I put E.J. back?"

"No, I got him, thanks." Cris left the room and I looked at E.J. "I hope I'm doing the right thing for you two."

I open the phone and slowly dialed the number I hadn't called in over six months. The other end rang, and rang, and rang, but I soon heard the familiar voice "Hello?"

"Hey." I said softly

"Bella? Bella is that you?"

I took a shaky breath "Yeah, it's me. I'm so sorry."

"Where are you? Why'd you leave?"

"I'm…ahh I'm in the hospital." I told the other end "In Oregon." I whisper even quieter.

"I'll be there soon. I call when I land, then you can tell me where you are and I'll be there with you, and… and we can talk."

"Okay. I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah, see you soon. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." The voice said

"I love you too." I cried.

**Sorry but that's all I got till latter. Can anyone guess who was on the phone? And sorry for the long AN in the beginning. Please review!**


	18. The drive

**Back again!**

**If I did own, I wouldn't be here.**

**Bellas pov**

When I was done on the phone I was told I needed to go back to my room so not only I but so the babies could rest also. Excited yet terrified of what the morning would bring I fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke refreshed, I had one of my very rare dreamless nights. I was to get a visitor, one whom knew nothing of what happened, and why I ran away. But first I got to hold my little E.J. I still wasn't allowed to hold my baby girl.

As I sat in bed a nurse whose name I learned was Penny, brought me E.J. and a bottle. As I put the bottle to his small, pink lips I was reminded of a song my mom would sing to me when I was little.

"_Hush-a-Bye  
Dont You Cry  
Go To Sleep My Little Baby  
When You Wake You Shall Have  
All The Pretty Little Ponies_

_In Your Bed  
Mamma Said  
Babies Riding Off To Dream Land  
One By One  
They've Begun  
Dance And Prance For Little Baby_

_Blacks And Bays  
Dapples And Grays  
Running In The Night  
When You Wake  
You Shall Have  
All The Pretty Little Ponies _

_Can't You See The Little Ponies  
Dance Before Your Eyes  
All The Pretty Little Ponies  
Will Be There When Your Arise_

Can't You See The Little Ponies  
Dance Before Your Eyes  
All The Pretty Little Ponies  
Will Be There When Your Arise

Hush-a-Bye  
Don't You Cry  
Go To Sleep My Little Baby  
When You Wake  
You Shall Have  
All The Pretty Little Ponies

All The Pretty Little Ponies" I sang the song my mom would sing to me.

I don't remember falling asleep after Penny took the sleeping boy but I must have because the next thing I recall is a knock on the door. I opened my eyes and say a gentel "Come in." the door slowly opened to revile a face I hadn't seen in six months. "Hey."

"Hey."

**Unknown pov (well I know but you don't :P haha)**

The plane landed and I called the number Bella called me on the night before "Hello?"

"Hello is Isabella there?"

"Um she is sleeping right now. Can I do something for you?" asked the woman.

"Could you tell me how to the hospital she is in?" I got into a cab and tell the driver to take me to a car rental. The woman gave me what I asked for and we soon hung up.

In the cab I was listening to the radio to stop my thoughts from the reeling that had been nonstop since I answered her call.

_ Gotta hold on easy as I let you go  
Gonna tell you how much I love you  
Though you think you already know  
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm  
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born_

You beautiful baby from the outside in  
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again  
Go on, take on this whole world  
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl

When you were in trouble that crooked little smile could melt my heart of stone  
Now look at you, I've turned around and you've almost grown  
Sometimes you're asleep I whisper "I Love You" in the moonlight at your door  
As I walk away, I hear you say, "Daddy Love You More"

Your beautiful baby from the outside in  
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again  
Go on, take on this whole world  
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl

Someday, some boy will come and ask me for your hand  
But I won't say "yes" to him unless I know, he's the half  
That makes you whole, he has a poet's soul, and the heart of a man's man  
I know he'll say that he's in love  
But between you and me  
He won't be good enough

Your beautiful baby from the outside in  
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again  
Go on, take on this whole world  
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl

Tears were in my eyes as I paid the driver. I rented a ford and made my way to the hospitail. On the way I heard the radio was on rap, not my thing but I left be just cuz I didn't want to mess with the stations. But what I heard only made more tears in my eyes.

_ Yeah, I know sometimes  
Things may not always make sense to you right now  
but hey, what daddy always tell you? Straighten up, little soldier  
Stiffen up that upper lip, what you cryin' about? You got me_

Hailie I know you miss your mom and I know you miss your dad  
When I'm gone but I'm tryin' to give you the life that I never had  
I can see you're sad, even when you smile, even when you laugh  
I can see it in your eyes, deep inside you wanna cry

'Cause you're scared, I ain't there, daddy's with you in your prayers  
No more cryin', wipe them tears, daddy's here no more nightmares  
We gon' pull together through it, we gon' do it Laney  
Uncle's crazy ain't he yeah but he loves you girl and you better know it

We're all we got it this world, when it spins, when it swirls  
When it whirls, when it twirls, two little beautiful girls  
Lookin' puzzled, in a daze, I know it's confusin' you  
Daddy's always on the move, mama's always on the news

I try to keep up sheltered from it but somehow it seems  
The harder that I try to do that, the more it backfires on me  
All the things growin' up as Daddy that he had to see  
Daddy don't want you to see but you see just as much as he did

We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me  
But things have got so bad between us, I don't see us ever  
Bein' together ever again, like we used to be when we was teenagers  
But then of course everything always happens for a reason

I guess it was never meant to be but it's just somethin'  
That we have no control over and that's what destiny is  
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep  
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this'll all just be a dream

Now hush little baby, don't you cry  
Everything's gonna be alright  
Stiffen that upper lip up, little lady, I told ya  
Daddy's here to hold you through the night

I know mommy's not here right now  
And we don't know why, we feel how we feel inside  
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby  
But I promise, momma's gon' be alright

Heh, it's funny, I remember back one year  
When daddy had no money  
Mommy wrapped the Christmas presents up  
And stuck 'em under the tree

And said some of 'em were from me  
'Cause daddy couldn't buy 'em  
I'll never forget that Christmas  
I sat up the whole night cryin'

'Cause daddy felt like a bum, see daddy had a job  
But his job was to keep the food on the table for you and mom  
And at the time, every house that we lived in  
Either kept gettin' broken into and robbed or shot up on the block

And your mom, was savin' money for you in a jar  
Tryin' to start a piggy bank for you so you could go to college  
Almost had a thousand dollars, 'til someone broke in and stole it  
And I know it hurt so bad, it broke your momma's heart

And it seemed like everything was just startin' to fall apart  
Mom and dad was arguin' a lot, so momma moved back  
On the Chalmers in the flat, one bedroom apartment  
And dad moved back to the other side of 8 Mile on Novara

And that's when daddy went to California with his CD  
And met Dr. Dre and flew you and momma out to see me  
But daddy had to work, you and momma had to leave me  
Then you started seein' daddy on the TV

And momma didn't like it and you and Laney were too young  
To understand that papa was a rollin' stone, momma developed a habit  
And it all happened too fast for either one of us to grab it  
I'm just sorry, you were there and had to witness it first hand

'Cause all I ever wanted to do was just make you proud  
Now I'm sittin' in this empty house, just reminiscin', lookin'  
At your baby pictures, it just trips me out to see how much  
You both have grown, it's almost like you're sisters now

Wow, guess you pretty much are and daddy's still here  
Laney, I'm talkin' to you too, daddy's still here  
I like the sound of that, yeah, it's got a ring to it don't it?  
Shh, momma's only gone for the moment

Now hush little baby, don't you cry  
Everything's gonna be alright  
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya  
Daddy's here to hold you through the night

I know mommy's not here right now  
And we don't know why, we feel how we feel inside  
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby  
But I promise, momma's gon' be alright

And if you ask me to  
Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird, I'ma give you the world  
I'ma buy a diamond ring for you, I'ma sing for you  
I'll do anything for you to see you smile

And if that mockingbird don't sing  
And that ring don't shine, I'ma break that birdie's neck  
I'd go back to the jeweler who sold it to ya  
And make him eat every carat, don't fuck with dad, ha ha

Wow was the only thought I had as I finished the drive, how much the song could relate to me was insane. But I parked the car and ran through the doors and asked where I could find an Isabella Swan. "There is no one in the hospital by that name." the nurse said.

"You must be here to see Is." Said the voice I spoke to on the phone. "Come with me." I followed the woman up to a room on the third floor. "I'll leave you alone."

I knocked on the door and heard Bella say come in, I walked in and we both said hey. "Dad I'm so sorry!" I walked over and hugged her.

"It's okay baby." She cried in my arms. "I'm here now."

After she calmed down enough I asked "Bella, please tell me why you ran." I almost begged.

**I know most of its songs but I needed it to be that way. Did you know it was Charlie that was coming? Bet you didn't. review and I'll update sooner!** _  
_


	19. Your Face

** I will not apologize it is a sign of weakness. But I will say that making money, and learning take up a lot of time. **

** I own it all…not!**

**Bellas pov**

"Dad I'm so sorry!" his arms wrapped around me just like they would when I was little.

"It's okay, baby. I'm here now." He held me for what felt like forever but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes before he said "Bella, please tell me why you ran."

I closed my eyes knowing I had to tell him sometime. "I… Ah… where do I start?"

Dad dabbed his eyes and said "What about the beginning?"

"I don't know if I can." I told him "Can I show you something first?"

He hesitated "I… Yeah I guess so, but could tell me why you're here?" Charlie looks around the room.

I gave him a small, sad smile "You'll see, that's what I'm about to show you. And if you aren't mad, or hate me then I'll tell you everything."

The way he looked at me was heart shattering "I could never hate you."

"You say that now." I pressed the nurse button and Penny appears in the door "Can I take my dad to see them?"

"Of course but I must say that the same rules apply."

I nodded "Okay, thank you." Penny left and Charlie helped me into the wheel chair.

I pointed in the direction of the room, he walked through the door and gasped "I… Bella… When… Ahh…" he couldn't put together a sentence.

After close to ten minutes of just sitting there Charlie finally said something "why didn't you tell me?"

"I was afraid, I still am." I admitted. "Not sure you, or Ed-anyone else would want me."

"Why? I love you. Look at your mom and I we had you at your age." He said "So witch one in my grand baby?" my dad smiled at me.

"Well your grandson is named E.J." His smiled light his face. "But your granddaughter is named Reenesme."

"You, had twins?"

I nodded and we went over to the 'crib' where my babies slept. "She's not doing well, dad. I'm scared."

Once we were kicked out of the NICU we went back to my room. I was in my bed, Charlie in the chair next to me. "Why didn't you tell him?" I just stayed silent trying not to cry. "He deserves to know."

_"Bella what's wrong?"_

_ "Nothing Edward. I just need to think."_

"I know, but I couldn't tell him."

"Why? He loves you. He'd make a good dad." Tears leaked from my eyes, he touched my arm and couldn't help the flinch "Probably a better father then myself."

That one word. One tiny word means the world. You can be a father and not a dad and vice versa. Now sobbing I decide to tell him why I ran. "They aren't his."

"Edward isn't the father?" I shake my head. "You and Jake?"

"I… he… not Jacob, someone else. Do you have a pen?" I take a piece of paper off the night stand and Charlie hands me a pen.

**Charlies pov**

I gave her my pen and, slowly she wrote. She paused for just a moment then silently handed it to me. I look at the paper when her eyes met mine. And three words I never dreamed my own daughter would say, or write were on the paper.

"No." I said tears in my eyes. "When? Who? I… No." my voice broke as I said this.

"I'm sorry, I… it doesn't matter... La Push."

"Who?" I said more forcefully, but knowing my daughter and how stubborn she could be. She said La Push, someone on the Reservation? "Bella, you need to tell me who. I'm a cop, I could get him put in jail, for years. Please." I begged at the end.

"Dad, please." Begged the new mom. I dropped the subject for the moment, and we were silent for a while, until Bella said "How is he?" she whispered.

"Who?" I asked before I realized who she was talking about. "He… when I saw him, he was… broken."

**Edwards pov**

I could tell I was getting on jaspers nerve, and not just by his thoughts. So I ran into the woods near our house, trying to clear my head I sat on a _fallen_ tree, well broken tree. In the distance I could hear teenagers partying the radio on and unable to clear my head I listen to the music. I recognized the voice to be Taylor Swift.

**(Bold = Edwards thoughts)**

_I heard a song tonight on the radio __**-Ironic**__  
Another girl sings about a boy  
She see his face in every space, every room__** –Does Bella, I see her **__  
And I know that if I turn around you won't be there__** –I wish you were**__  
If I close my eyes, will you be there? __**-Yes**___

I don't wanna lose your face _**–I never will**__  
And I don't wanna wake up one day __**–For once I'm glad I can't dream**__  
And not remember what time erased __**–I almost wish that's what would happen, almost**__  
And I don't wanna turn around  
'Cause I'm not scared of what love gave me and took away  
And I don't wanna lose your face __**-Ever**___

I got a picture of you in my bedroom _**–More than one**__  
And I hope it never falls __**–but it is a picture of you**__  
I hope I never lose that feeling  
I used to get whenever you'd call __**–God I miss you**__  
And now I wonder to myself  
Who were you, where are you? __**–I should have seen this coming**__  
Were you ever here at all? __**–Were you?**___

And I don't wanna wake up one day  
And not remember what time erased _**–Time is nothing**__  
And I don't wanna turn around  
'Cause I'm not scared of what love gave me and took away __**–why did you leave?**__  
And I don't wanna lose your face_

The girl in the song had it so good _**–Good, but painful**__  
I wish I could close my eyes and see you __**–your chocolate eyes, beautiful long hair**__  
I wish the sky had your face  
And the oceans had your eyes  
And the sunset had your lips  
And I had you, oh, whoa, yeah __**–If I did I would nothing more**___

I don't wanna lose your face _**–I really don't**__  
I don't wanna wake up one day __**–I never will awaken from this nightmare**__  
And not remember what time erased__** –time can never do that, not to me**__  
And I don't wanna turn around  
'Cause I'm not scared of what love gave me and took away __**–But I am**__  
And I don't wanna lose your face_

Oh, no, no  
I don't wanna lose your face _**–I won't lose yours but will you lose mine?**__  
And I don't wanna turn around __**–I wish you know how much I love you**__  
Oh, oh, oh, ooh, yeah  
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh  
Oh, oh, oh, yeah _

The song ended and I closed my eyes, and she was there just like I knew she would be. Bella next to Alice smiling, messing around. I just wish I knew why she left. But I didn't. I took a deep breath and ran back home, I needed a distraction.

**Bellas pov**

All I could think was how could I do that to him, but then I thought it would have been worse to tell him the truth. "How are the others?" Charlie stopped and took my hand.

"They moved, Bells." His voice was broken.

**Leahs pov**

Oh god! No! I can't believe it. This was not supposed to happen! On a mission, to 'help' Bella and I Imprint!

Do I know his name? NO

Do I know where he's from? No

Do I know His age, favorite food, color? No. NO. NO!

I was supposed to find the Bastard 'Mike' but no, I find the guy of my dreams in a hotel. This was going to be fun… not.

** I know suckish ending. Anyone know who leahs imprint is? I'd love to hear what you think.**


	20. poor thing

** Okay first things first I own nothing. And I am sorry I I've been busy because I have recently attained somewhat of a social life.**

** Bella pov**

"I don't care how long it is just as long as it is something personal, and close to you. Not something you found online or anywhere else from you." Professor Rickets said. It had been six months since Reenesme and E.J were born and I had now started collage. "Alright get out of here I don't want to see any of you until Monday."

I stuffed my books in my bag and left the building and went to my car thankful I could go home to see my babies. Life had been hard without the Cullens but the babies had helped fill the void but it still was _different. _I drove to the day care center where E.J. and Reenesme, where at every week day while I was in school.

"Hello there Miss Lake." Said Mrs. Barrington.

"Hi Mrs. Barrington, how are you today?" I asked singing the sheet.

"Oh I'm fine dear, oh and someone bought the place, nice young couple, can't be much older than you, she's been working here oh about seven or eight months. Norah said she is very good with the kids and from what I see I'd say so too." Norah Figg is the owner of the day care.

I placed the little ones in their car seats and told Mrs. Barrington to have a nice day. Once we were in the car I started thinking about everything that's happened in the last few months.

The twins were released from the hospital when they were three weeks old, and Charlie stayed with us for a few weeks but had to go back to Forks, but promised he wouldn't tell anyone where I was. Both of the twins where healthy as could be. I was still seeing Kate but not as often because I didn't have the time but I did see he once a week. The only thing is I hadn't heard from Leah since she left.

Once I got home I changed both E.J. and Reenesme, then set them in their highchairs for dinner, when that was done, cleaned up, and the little ones where in bed and asleep, I took out my school books.

I worked on my various assignments until I came to my English assignment. My mind ran through so many options for it but I couldn't decide. So I went to be ready to do it the next day.

**Leahs pov**

"I'm sorry." Said a voice I had come to recognize. "Oh hey I've seen you around."

I turn to see the guy I had imprinted in almost six months ago. i tried so hard to stay away but I couldn't even if he didn't know it. "Yeah I've been in town for a while."

"Yeah me too. I actually moved here About a year or so ago."

"So where are you from?" I asked the question I now dread I ever asked.

"Oh I live in Washington, small town called Forks."

I smiled "I know where that is I grew up in La Push." I told him, his smile grew.

"I spent a lot of time on first beach." Something glinted in his eyes. "Have some _nice_ memories." His smile changed and he had a faraway look in his eyes.

"Well I gotta get going." I told him when my cell rang. "Name's Leah, by the way." I hold out my hand.

He takes it "Mike. Nice to meet you, hope I see you soon."

I leave to answer my phone but before I do it clicks. Mike, Mike and in Mike from Forks, who moved a year ago, who had _nice_ memories from La Push.

_SHIT!_

** Bellas pov**

It was no Sunday and I didn't have my writing done for class the next day. So with the twins taking a nap I sat and I thought, thought of any and everything that had happened in my life. And it came to me.

'But how do I write it' was all I could think.

**The next day**

"It happens to other people

You say how sad

You say poor thing

But when it's you it's something else

It's everything

You'll never believe the nightmares

You'll never know the pain you caused

You'll never see the scars you left

The things you stole

Your starring role

In everything I lost

You took my body

Tore it in half

You took my childhood

My heart

And my laugh

You took everything I kept for myself

And then you're gone

I'm not you're poor thing

Friends you loved and

Thought you knew

Just disappear

All that is broken

You cannot repair

You took my body

Tore it in half

You took my childhood

My heart

And my laugh

You took everything I kept for myself

And then you're gone

I'm not your poor thing

I'm not your poor thing."

The entire room was silent as the word sunk into everyone, not a peep was heard until Professor Rickets looked up from the paper and cleared her throat "Now just an I gave the option to everyone else you could stand and take credit for your assignment or you are allowed to stay anonymous to the class." Her eyes advert back to the paper rereading the name on the top.

I started to panic, my chest tightening, breathing became harder and faster. I closed my eyes and thought of all the progress I had made, all the hours in that tiny room with Kate. What kind of a role model would I be to my kids if I am a coward?

"Isabella Lake. I am glad you decided to share your identity with us all." I didn't register the fact that I was standing until she said my name. "Now like all the other brave souls who stood would you like to explain your Paper to the rest of us?"

I closed my eyes and felt myself nod. "I…Ahh. I have at home a baby girl and baby boy, twins." a few gasps where heard including Professor Rickets but some of the class still held confused faces'. "Before I moved here I was a wreck, didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't even talk, especially about this. Someone I thought I knew, thought I was a friend, well he got me alone." Slowly more people understood what my paper was about. "He pushed my down, pinned me to the ground and held a knife to my throat."

The images where coming over me and I heard the timer ring to tell us the class was over, I didn't hear a single chair scrape the floor as I fought to speak. "He raped me." tears slid down my face "I left the only family I had because of him and now I don't even know where they are. I can't look at a lake, or a fire, I can't even smell root beer because of _him_."

"That is what is close and personal for me." I said opening my eyes only to find I wasn't the only one with tears streaming.

**Ok so I stole most of 'poor thing' from Degrassi but a small part was my own so yeah. Tell me what you think! Did you expect it to be Mike that Leah imprinted on?**


	21. old friends

**Wow I haven't had time to write as of late and I am sorry for that but now I shall give you more!**

**Nothing but the plot is mine.**

**Alice pov**

I kept having these visions I didn't understand. I would ignore them and push them away until I couldn't take it and had to look at them. I had another one of these fuzzy visions, only this time it was centered on Angela.

**Vision**

_"Aww I had no idea, they were yours! They are so precious!" Angela gushes over something I can't see. Then I hear someone else but I can't make out what they say, I can't even tell if the voice is a man or woman. _

**End vision**

My visions of Angela were never blurry like that before. What's wrong with my visions? It seemed like I could only see my family… maybe my ability was getting weaker and I could only see vampires now?

**Bellas pov**

It had been almost two weeks since I told my class and favorite teacher that I was raped. And at first some of the kids were treating me really nice and making sure I was okay all the time but now the newness of it has worn off a little and things are back to the way they were before.

I was on my way to pick up E.J. and Reenesme from day care and I turned on my radio to hear the song that was playing because I had never heard it but recognized to voice to be Martina McBride.

"_She remembers when she first got her wings_

_And how she opened up that day _

_She learned to sing_

_Then the colors came, erased the _

_Black and white_

_And her whole world changed _

_When she realized_

_She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky_

_Nothing's ever gonna bring her down_

_And everywhere she goes_

_Everybody knows she's so glad to be alive_

_She's a butterfly_

_Like the purest light in a darkened world_

_So much hope inside such a lovely girl_

_You should see her fly, it's almost magical_

_It makes you wanna cry, she's so beautiful_

_God bless the butterfly,_

_Give her the strength to fly_

_Never let her wings touch the ground_

_God bless the butterfly,_

_Give her strength to fly_

_Never let her wings touch the ground_

_God bless the butterfly,_

_Give her the strength to fly_

_Never let her wings touch the ground_

_God bless the butterfly,_

_Give her the strength to fly_

_Never let her wings touch the ground"_

I sat in the parking lot to hear the end of the song and when it was over I couldn't help but think about how much I'd like to become a butterfly one day, to have the strength to fly.

I walked in to the slightly redecorated day care, the new owners had put up a few new odds and ends here and there, and I wave to Mrs. Barrington who was talking to someone as I silently singed the sheet of paper just like any other day. I pointed to the play room and Mrs. Barrington nodded as to tell me my babies were still back there.

I walked back to a room with a few kids all looking to be somewhere between 2 and 6, most of the kids had already gone home for the day. But I soon spotted my little girl asleep on a pillow covered with a pink and brown blanket. Next to her I saw a woman sitting on the floor with her back to me, her black hair was pulled into a pony tail and as she was playing with a baby, I could only assume was E.J. because I had yet to see him, it whipped back and forth. I walked up behind her and I see E.J giggling and I wave at him.

The woman had yet to see me so I said "Excuse me, I'm Is Lake. I'm here to pick up Reenesme and E.J.."

The woman stood with E.J. and as she turned to look at me says " Sorry miss lake. I'm Angela." As I look at E.J. instead of the woman I heard her say "Bella?" hearing that made me jerk my head to see the her.

"Umm… i… what… h… hi Angela." I stammered out.

"Aww I had no idea, they were yours! They are so precious!" Angela says happily.

I smiled and said "Yes they are. They are both very sweet babies." I smiled.

"Mrs. Chenny there's a parent out here that would like to talk with you." Mrs. Barrington stood in the door way as she spoke.

Angela nodded "I'll be out the in just a moment." Mrs. Barrington left the door way And Angela looked at me and asked "what are you doing tonight? I was hoping we can talk for a while."

"Nothing much. Would you like to come over later?" I asked her and she told me she would love to she could be there around seven. So I gave my old friend my address and made my way to my car with my babies.

**Angela pov**

Bella had come into the daycare. And as much as I tried to focus on my work for the remaining two hours I was there, I couldn't. I noticed she had introduced herself as 'Is Lake' and I made a mental note to ask her about that when I saw her later that night. But the fact she had kids is what I couldn't get out of my head. Is that why she left? Are they Edwards? I know they they aren't his… but she'd never cheat on him. Besides E.J.s eyes are blue, neither Bella or Edwards eyes are blue. It was driving me crazy! But I had to wait until I got to talk to her to find out the truth.

My day was finally over and I was on my was home to take a shower before I was to meet Bella, before I started my car to leave the parking lot I just leaned back in my seat, closed my eyes and calmed myself. Slowly I sat up and started the car, I pulled out of the parking lot and adjusted the radio form the crap ben had listened to the last time he was in it, I turned the dial and passed a good song so I went back to it.

"There's a moment in time  
And it's stuck in my mind  
Way back, when we were just kids

Cause your eyes told the tale  
Of an act of betrayal  
I knew that somebody did

Oh, waves of time  
Seem to wash away  
The scenes of our crimes  
But for you this never ends

Can you stay strong?  
Can you go on?  
Kristy are you doing okay?  
A rose that won't bloom  
Winter's kept you  
Don't waste your whole life trying  
To get back what was taken away

Though the marks on your dress  
Had been neatly repressed  
I knew that something was wrong  
And I should have spoke out  
And I'm so sorry now  
I didn't know  
Cause we were so young

Oh, clouds of time  
Seem to rain on  
Innocence left behind  
And it never goes away

Can you stay strong?  
Can you go on?  
Kristy are you doing okay?  
A rose that won't bloom  
Winter's kept you  
Don't waste your whole life trying  
To get back what was taken away

Oh, clouds of time  
Seem to rain on  
Innocence left behind  
And it never goes away

Can you stay strong?  
Can you go on?  
Kristy are you doing okay?  
A rose that won't bloom  
Winter's kept you  
Don't waste your whole life trying  
To get back what was taken away

Don't waste your whole life trying  
To get back what was taken away"

"Damn!" I said aloud and pulled into the nearest parking lot to think it out.

_**flashback**_

_Bella freezes and starts to breathe heavy "Bella? Bella! Come on Bella its okay." I tried to calm her. And as I walked her to her class she flinched from my touch._

_I was walking down the hall to lunch and I saw mike I was about to say hi to him but he was looking at something. I looked in the same direction and saw bella. She was having a panic attack. I walked over to her and once again calmed her._

_Soon I noticed that mike had transferred out of all of bellas classes, and she was only panicing when she saw him. I wasn't sure what had happened but I knew something had. And I continued to let Bella know I was there for her._

_**End of flashback**_

"Oh Bella. Im sorry I didn't notice." I said to the empty car.__


	22. stories

Angelas pov

Once I was collected I finshed my drive home. But I just sat in my car until I realized it was getting late and I needed to get ready. When I walked in the house ben was home and he greeted me with a peck to the cheek. "Hey babe"

"I bet youll never guess who I ran into today." I smiled at him

"um… Justin bieber?"

"pshh yeah right. Bella."

His eyebrows rose. "Bella as in bella swan?" I nodded "bella as in chief swans daughter." I nodded again "the one that ran off?"

"one in the same. And we're going over there in about an hour." I started to walk to the bathroom to get my shower but was stopped by a thought. "and ben, she called herself 'Is Lake' "

"wait how did you say you ran in to her?" ben looked at me

"the day care."

It was his turn to nod. Oh is she working there?"

I smiled "no her kids come in." again his eyebrows hit the ceiling while my smile saddened "and I think.."

"what do you think?" he looked in my eyes.

"I think she was raped."

Bellas pov

I finished breading the chicken and had just put it in the oven. Reenesme and E.J. were playing on the floor while watching tv when the doorbell rang.

I feel the panic rise in me just a little, But I pushed it down as I walked to the door. I paused and took a few deep, calming breaths. I Turn the handle and saw ben in a nice blue buttonup shirt and jeand while angel was also ina blue top it was a lighter blue with splashes of a dark blue and a pair of jeans. "hey ang, ben."

The panic try's to overcome me again. "were not too awful shabby" ben answered for the two of them. "And how are you bella?"

"im okay." I smiled and opened the door all the way. "come on in."

The pair walked in and I led them to the living room where the babies were sitting. "wow' balla your home is beautiful." Angela said

"but so are these two." Ben smiled and walked over to the twins and started playing with them.

"diner will be done shortly. I just put it in the oven." I looked at angela have a seat and we can start talking."

We both sat on the couch while ben opted for the floor still getting the twins to giggle. "whats their names?"

"E.J. and Reenesme." Ang and I said at the same time. We looked at each other and laughed.

"so how long have you been around here?" I asked

"not quite a year. It was just after we got married. We needed a change an d ben got a job here so we moved, when we got here I was able to get a job at the daycare. Since it went up for sale ben and I bought it and I'll be doing most of the stuff there while he's working." She explained. And stopped then we heard the oven time tell us the food was done.

We ate diner as we all joked and told old stories. One of the twins would tell us a story in gibberish every so often. "Dinner was delicious bella." Ben said while holding reenesme and trying to pick E.J. up.

angela laughed as she helped him out and I started to pick up the dishes. Once all the dishes were brought to the sink I cleaned the table as the sink filled. Once I started on the dished angela came in and silently started drying for me.

"where are the lil ones and ben?" I asked her.

Been found their room and got them changed and is putting them in bed for you." I saw the smile my old friend was wearing. The one that said he was perfect.

" hes good with them." I stated.

"he is. Isn't he?" her smile widened and we finished our cleaning. Ben joined us just before we were done and we all headed to the living room.

We all sat down and got relaxed "so bella… how did you end up here?" angela asked.

The panic in me started to rise again "im assuming you want the truth." I looked to both of them and the each nodded to encourage me.

Angelas pov

Bella took a deep breath. "well one day the…um… cullens went camping and a went to see jake." She has trouble saying cullens. "but he had to be somewhere so I went on a walk. I think you guys were there. At la push that night, eric had asked why I was there."

I remembered this night it was one of the few she was there with us and her friend jake wasn't there with her. "well every one had gone off doing there own thing after a while. It was just me and…" she had to take a deep breath. "and mike. He had been annoying all night but now I was alone with him. He… um… he forced himself on me." A tear slid from my own eye as did one from bellas.

I hugged her as tight as I could. "im sorry, I didn't know he…. I should have stayed by the fire im sorry."

"no. its… its okay. You didn't tell him to do it. You didn't hold the knife to me…" she said the last part in a whisper. "but you did help me calm down after my melt downs at school. You never asked questions. You helped me a lot that first little bit before I found out."

"do you know Leah Clearwater?"

I squinted trying to think of her. "isn't she fron la push?" I asked

Bella nodded "she is she helped me out when I found out. Helped me get here."

Good. I thought " is she still around here then?" I asked her

"no I don't know where she went."

Ben finally asked. "does anyone but us know you are here?"

She shook her head "my dad does he comes here every so often. I called him when the babies were born. "

I felt I had to ask her "does your dad know?"

"he knows I was raped. Not who did it." She looks down at her hands.

We sat in silence for a short time. I was the one to break it " at the daycare I heard you introduce yourself as 'Is Lake?"

"yeah I changed my name. so I couldn't be found as easily. I didn't want the cullens to know I had um… cheated on ed… him."

Before I had the chance ben piped up."bella. you did not cheat on Edward." Bella flinched. "Mike is a no good piece of trash, who forced you into it. You did not choose to cheat on him."

I smiled at my husband. And saw a few stray tears fall from bellas eyes. "i.. I know. Im sorry." She stammered out. "in public could you guts please call me Is?"

Of course." Ben and I both answered her.

**I am sooo sorry! Never will I take that long again. Pleas tell me what you think.**


	23. i love you mama

** Not the fastest ive ever updated but its better than waiting months… right?**

** 4 years later.**

** Bellas pov**

Both E.J. and Nessie, that's the nick name E.j. gave her when he first started talking and it stuck, were gonna be 5 in just six short months. Time had flown by. Every now and again id get a letter from leah, and she gave me a p.o. box to send my letters back to her.

I found out she met someone and imprinted but she keept her distance, she wouldnt tell me why they don't just get together. She will 'randomly' bump into him other than that he never sees her.

**Alices pov**

It was getting closer. I kept having the same blurry vision. The one with a bright light. I don't know whats happening, who its happening to, I don't know anything.

**Bellas pov**

I finshed school the year before and now write an article in a magazine along with shooting my own pictures. "mama we gonna leave yet?" my lil guy asked as he puts his coat on.

"Yeah E.J. were leaving right now. Can you help Nessie with her caot while mama gets her shoes?" E.J. was helping his sister before I had even finished asking. Nessie and E.J. where so close ist like they could read each others minds sometimes. Since they were born E.J. had always protected his little sister.

"come on bug." I had Nessie in her car seat and saw getting E.J. in his when my cell rang. "hey."

"are you guys coming?" ang asked."weve been here for like five minutes already!"

"were on our way." I hung up.

"whos dat mama?" E.J. asked me sweetly.

"your aunt angie is being very impatient." I told them as I got in the car.

"hey mama?" Nessie had been quiet for a while. "my tummy thinks this is bad." Her eyebrows where all scrunched together.

"well how about after diner we watch you favorite movie?"

She didn't answer but E.J. said "mama, Nessie I love you." And just smiled.

We came to a light that turned green before we even had the chance to stop. So we drove on through.

**Angelas pov**

It had been fifteen minutes since I had called Is the first time. We had gotten used to calling her that over the years. So I called again, nothing it just kept ringing.

"whats going on?" ben asked me.

"she isnt answering." I was worried. So I called again and nothing.

"im sure shes fine. Maybe shes on the phone." he rubs my back.

I called once more. "Hello?" my eyebrows rose. "hello?"

"um is?" I asked.

The man on the other end spoke. "Sorry. Im Dr. strike, Is lake was in an accident." he paused wanting me so say something but nothing would come out so he went on. "a truck driver was drunk and ran a red light. He hit the drivers side of the car."

tears were already leaking. "are they okay? Is? The kids?"

"miss I think its best you come to the hospital." the dr said.

I hung up and drug ben out of there and to the car. "im not leaving until you tell me whats going on." ben declared.

" drunk truck driver hit them. Hospital now!" I alost yelled in panic. My best friend and he kids, hell my family was hurt!

We finaly got to the hospital and were directed to the icu, and found a doctor. "hello, im looking for Is lake and her kids?" his name tag said dr. strike. The man from the phone.

"im Isabellas doctor. And she is in a coma a the time being. Her side was hit head on, its a wounder she is still alive."

"Nessie and E.J.? Where are the kids?" dr strike looked at his hands.

**I know this is a short one but I had to leave yall hanging a lil bit! **

** Review please!**


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